Managing finances as a couple can be tricky business. In our house we've traded off being the breadwinner, we've saved, overspent, and tried lots of different methods for managing our money. Because we moved in together early in out relationship, talking honestly about money has always been something Jesse and I have had to navigate together, and for that I'm really thankful. While we're not always on the same page, and it's not always easy we've become pretty good at talking it.
Our only real rule is that all major life and financial decisions have to be made over nachos at our favourite Mexican food place. No seriously, it was in our wedding vows.
Since I'm working hard to work for myself, I'm switching to part time work and am going to rely more on freelance work for my income. Which is amazing! I need more time for blog designs & soon I'll need dedicated time for my etsy shop too. It's been really interesting so far, and we've been making some changes to how we live that I thought might be fun to share. So this is what we've been doing, behind the scenes to streamline our spending…
Travel Smart
With plane fares being what they are in Canada, we have to really limit our travel while we're reducing our spending. We've been a little over zealous with how much we're running around and need to chill out on the spur of the moment road trips and planning big get aways.
What this looks like for us:
- Paying in advance when we have the money. When we booked our stay at Disney for later this year, we booked the dining plan for the first time which means that our trip & our food were actually paid off in the summer. We can just go and enjoy ourselves without bearing the full cost right after the trip. When we do travel, we book our travel in advance so our expenses are spread out.
- Take a local holiday. Borrowing a friend's cabin and running away to the lake in the summer sounds just about perfect to me, and there are all kinds of rural bed and breakfasts around that are great options. We don't need to change time zones to have a good break, and this way we can bring the dogs! Hello, no boarding costs!
Pay it off
Jesse and I are very lucky to have little debt. We're really serious about using our credit cards like they're debit cards to build our credit, and to not buy anything we can't pay off in that month. While I don't have great willpower when I see something I love, I can't handle the stress of unpaid bills! But there are definitely places where we can do better.
What this looks like for us:
- Get rid of a car payment. Because we purchased our car instead of leasing, we'll be paying off one of our cars this year! Switching to only having one car payment is going to be a fantastic feeling and sticking with two cars will keep me from getting bronchitis in the winter (the cold + our transit system's delays = my lungs want to move to California)
- Bookmark potential purchases into Evernote instead of buying. When I see something great online, I want to make sure I remember it. Instead of buying it, I'm adding them to a notebook in Evernote so I can check back, purchase them later when it's in my budget, and re-direct that impulse to spend.
- Save for everything else. From vet bills to home repairs and the cars, everything that has the potential to hit hard now has a space in our budget. When something happens (and it will!) we already have a head start, and that gives me a lot of comfort. We're using You Need A Budget to track and put every dollar to use. It uses the simple idea of living on your last month of income, so you never come up short.
Indulge a Little
When our budgets are seriously realigned I'm guilty of getting down on myself and feeling “hard done by”… which generally leads to me wandering through shops and buying jewelry. Having a little wiggle room planned helps me feel pampered and keep me from steamrolling my budget.
What this looks like for us:
- Streaming seasons of TV shows to catch up on. We've been watching Bones from its first season, one episode a night, and Angela and Hodgins are THE CUTEST EVER. Season two of Buffy The Vampire slayer and early 90's Law and Order are my happy place. Lots of entertainment, and it only costs my internet connection.
- Buy high quality, low quantity. I can't make a big investment in my closet right now, but I love buying new cardigans and blouses in the fall, so I'm choosing a few vintage or thrifted pieces that will last and leaving it at that.
This is definitely just the tip of the iceberg for us, because we've been making some big shifts lately. We've cut back on going out, we're meal planning, and living with a minimalist mentality. But I love having a plan that reflects how I want my life to be: packed with experiences, light on stuff, and full of happiness.
And also with a bottle of Pinot Noir tucked away near by, just in case.
What's your favourite little indulgence?
Mine is vegan marshmallows, be still my heart!
{image: bugs and fishes}
LAST UPDATED ON: August 30th, 2010
CATEGORY: All Posts
I really love this post. My husband and I are getting out poop in a group as well. Little late to the party going to put some of this to use right away.
These sounds so great, and the debt-free (or close to) is so refreshing to see with another young couple. We recently had to get a car (after 12 years of the used one bought) and that was our end to being completely debt free. Grateful it’s just a car payment than grands of dollars like most of America, but still!!
I recently got rid of 80% of my closet, kept so little in comparison. I had the urge to shop and fill it up but when I think of the cute outfits, I can’t believe I make them with so little. Hoorah for slow living- the best gift we can give ourselves.
Sounds like a great plan. I need to become much smarter with how I handle my money. I am looking for a job right now, and once I have one, I will have to start being much more responsible about saving up for various possible unexpected expenses and also pay back my parents some money that I owe them. (I used my credit card a little too irresponsibly in the past two years and a couple of weeks told my parents about it. They lent me the money to pay it off so now I owe them instead of the stupid credit card company.) It will be the first time I will be financially independent and while I am really ready to be independent (I *am* 27 years old), it’s also a huge responsibility.
We moved in together pretty quickly, too, and have also traded off being the breadwinner.
We try to sit down every week and figure out how much we’ve got and what we’ll be spending it on. When we don’t, I feel like our money spirals out of control way too quickly.
Staycations are the best!
Small indulgences…quite simply for us are buying, making and eating the best food we can.
We used to do weekly meetings too- it’s so much easier to have lots of little conversations instead of one giant one when things are out of control. Planning High Five! :)
I love Bones. I am inappropriately invested in Brennan and Booth’s relationship. I will not be shamed by this.
I’m SO inappropriately involved in the show too. Last night we watched three episodes, it was heaven! :)
I think your tips are all so great! And how cute that your financial discussions are had over a shared plate of nachos. That’s a fantastic idea! ;)
The biggest things for me are not using credit cards – unless I can pay it off that month. I am proud of the fact that I don’t have credit card debt – it’s so easy to accumulate, so I just try to stay away from it! The other thing I do is have a certain amount of each paycheck go to an ING savings account. If I want to spend money in that account, it takes a couple of days to transfer to my checking account, so it prevents stupid, snap decisions!
My favorite indulgence is probably lattes from Caribou. I usually only have maybe 1 a week, so I totally went over board last weekend, but oh well! My other favorite indulgence which is a ‘bigger ticket’ item is travel. :)
I’m the same way about credit cards, I use it like a debit card- I always know how much money I have to spend, and I don’t go over it. It took me a while to get there, but it’s so much less stressful! :)
I so can relate to this post!! And btw…congrats to you for pursuing your interests, it’s so hard to do but I think so worth it!!! So a big kudos!! My hubby and I are the same – we try and live simply which sometimes is hard!! But it makes it even more fun when we splurge :)
Thanks so much!! I’m so excited to have more room for my creative life, and that I have a husband who supports me in that is just kind of amazing :)
I’m getting married in a couple of years and while I am totally ready for everything else, the one thing I am NOT ready for is the combining of our finances! My fiance and I have very different views on money sometimes, and I’m terrified of how they’re going to clash when we’re eventually sharing a bank account! yeeshk!
This is a great post though – thanks!
My indulgence this summer has been going out for ice cream at the little shop down the street. It’s an indulgence one – because it’s expensive and two – because it’s not so healthy for you and it’s one of those things you can only eat every once in awhile :)
Sharing a bank account is really tough- I think the main thing to keep in mind is you don’t have to! For the first four years that we lived together we had a shared account and a shared Visa that was only for joint expenses- groceries & bills. We each deposited our portion of the bills into the joint account from our personal accounts, and then paid the Visa from that joint account. It was great because all the bills were in both of our names and there was still a lot of cooperation but there was also a built in safety net.
Eventually we start saving for trips together in a joint savings account too, but I really liked it as a way to ease into bringing our financial lives together :)
These are awesome ideas and I think I will definitely keep some of them in mind! I doubt we’ll combine our bank accounts right away either, but it’s still somewhere out there in the future. I especially like the idea of a shared savings account for a trip – that’s something maybe we could start now! Hm… :)
I can’t stand being in dept either, but being right out of doctoral school, having just moved to a new state and all the expenses that entails, I am starting to worry more about money than I would want. I guess sometimes we have to be a bit in dept to launch ourselves. I just can’t wait until all is settled and I can start saving again.
That is absolutely the case- for me, school debt is in a whole different category than consumer “I want another sweater” debt. That’s an investment! Congratulations on finishing, that’s amazing! :)
such amazing advice, kyla. i seriously bookmarked this. i’m not the best when it comes to money, so this is going to come in handy ;)
I need a dose of your discipline. My finances are a mess, though I am trying to take control. I am going to learn by your example.
It takes a long time to figure out what works for you, just take it slow and you’ll get there! I think the biggest thing for me to take the first step towards this was really just believing that I could get out of credit card debt and that I really could manage things. It can be almost too scary to tackle head on sometimes! If you need any pep talks, you know where I am :)
I’ve been talking with my mom for months about how we need to cut back, sit down and create a budget…but we never seem to get around to it! I might e-mail you for your suggestions, if that’s OK. (Also, when are you going to be in Orlando again?! I might be able to make a trip up there…)
Of course that’s okay, I love your emails!
I’ll be in Orlando in the last week of September, it would be so fun to meet you- but it’s a big drive so don’t feel obligated, miss. I can always text you when I’m there and we can wave in the general direction of each other :)
I really enjoyed the thought put into this post, Kyla. It’s very helpful.
I absolutely love this, full of memories, not possessions. Not the things that tie us down. I really hope that when I move out with the guy we can live this way also…actually, he does very good at living this way, I’ll just have to take the time & effort to live this way also. =)
It does take a real shift and a big effort- and sometimes I’m really bad at it! But I guess being aware is just part of the battle :)
Thank you for sharing this with us! I’m moving in with my boyfriend in a couple of days and reading this helps so much! xoxo
Congratulations- I hope your move went well!
we love Bones too! except we don’t limit ourselves to just one episode a night. i admire your self-restraint!
and sigh. yes, budgets. we went out last night for the first time in a while and it was a shock to my system to see how much we spent. i think i prefer staying home and cuddling in bed while watching netflix. it’s a lot cheaper!!
Ha! Okay, last night we watched three episodes and it was amazing! I try to ration them, but they’re so much fun that sometimes I have to binge!
You’re so right about the clothing. Quality over quantity always wins. For a while I was in a super thrifty mode so I thought buying lots on the cheap would be a good fashion fix, but I just ended up really annoyed when things I bought would shrink and unravel. Plus, if you have a few really cute things you love you won’t mind wearing them all the time!
I’m totally with you- that’s why I buy thrifted & vintage a lot of the time- at least I know it won’t fall apart right away! :)
You and Jesse are learning some really important life lessons around finance that some people never fully grasp. It really impresses me that you’ve done so much at such a young age. If only I were as smart as you when I was a mere 20-something!
Kyla! Are you talking about those marshmallows you can buy at Organza from NY? I just tried some coconut covered ones this weekend – amazing!
Yes! Those Sara & Sara marshmallows are my absolutely favourites!! :)
I love this post! Eric and I have kept our finances very, very separate over the last 5 years because our living situation was constantly changing. Now that it looks like we will be living together permanently (finally!) and starting to save for a house we need to look at merging our finances (and therefore our budgets) more!
Oh that’s such a fun & interesting time! Good luck on becoming a little more blended :)
Ah yes, money. I use Mint.com to stay on track, and choose experiences over “stuff” any day. Netflix is an awesome service for tv-watching, and I try to save money for things like a scanner and camera that help me preserve memories and using time to remember how much fun thing have been in my life. Food is also a big deal. I eat as well as I can afford, and I’m so glad that cooking and eating have effectively become my recreation, the time I spend out of lab doing things.
I love cooking too- we’ve been so sick of BBQ lately that I’m relieved that the weather broke so I can use the oven and stovetop a little more without causing a heatwave :)
I enjoy reading about other couples’ financial motivations and plans. “Budget” is a word that is spoken on a daily basis in my house. Billy and I sit down every Friday night to go over how that week went and to plan for the next week. It lets us go into our weekends knowing where we stand. And you’re right – talking about it can be very high-stress, but in the end, you’re better off to do it and communicate about it.
As for my favorite indulgence, I like to buy my breakfast out on Friday mornings, on my way to work. It gets me excited to wake up and head in, with a muffin or bagel of my choice, plus coffee.
I love the idea of a weekly meeting- you just reminded me that we used to do that too! And a Friday morning breakfast treat sounds like the perfect built in “pick me up”, I think I need more of your tips Stacey!
we also splurge on TV shows, and in the end it saves us money! We find that buying a bottle of wine, cooking dinner together, and watching several episodes of a great show is a fabulous Saturday night, without breaking the bank.
I’m not going to lie, that’s my favourite way to spend an evening! I’m such a homebody! lol :)
Weird! I’ve actually been having ongoing conversations with Mike about how we can minimize our life – recycling, throwing things away, donating, and buying/spending less.
This summer has thrown us into a tailspin – financial an otherwise – and after this weekend, we’re going to realign our stars and start taking control, and getting back on track.
good luck!
I hate that feeling of losing your bearings, but it sounds like you guys are making a really wonderful plan to get back on track. We just set up standing donations to local charities too, it makes me feel like we’re still giving back, even as we ramp down our spending. I like that balance!
My personal indulgence is shopping–shoes, accessories, clothes–such a weakness! But I’m becoming stronger and learning to leave a store or click away from a shop before I do too much damage :) Good luck to you in your crafty/design endeavors!!
Bookmarking temping items is my middle ground – I can still find them, but I can also pace myself! :)
This is perfect my friend! I am right there with you on budgeting and making sure I don’t go crazy. In the next two payperiods, my car will finally be mine. It’s going to be awesome to have $70 to put in a savings account every two weeks.
When I was working a few years ago at the air force, I made friends with a wonderful girl close to my age. We didn’t have much money to spend, so every Thursday night I would go to her house and we would make dinner and watch Grey’s Anatomy together. We did this the entire season and it was fabulous. Earlier in the week we would plan what we were going to have, split the cost of the grocery bill and have a great time!
Now I’m meal planning and it’s saving $$ for groceries! We would typically order pizza every Friday or Saturday, but now we make our own and the cost is way cheaper – about $15 for ingredients for three pizzas. Awesome.
I love the idea of a standing girls night- I used to have weekly sushi dates with a friend but it was super expensive, I might have to steal your idea!
Steal, steal, away! :)
I can definitely relate to this post, as J and I have also traded off being the breadwinner in our house. The challenge (and ultimate goal) is to figure out what we can and cannot live without and to make a budget that accommodates us both!
I definitely like your vow to make financial decisions over nachos! I have to propose this to my J :)
Finding that middle ground is such a big thing, and it takes a lot of time, more than I thought! But I do find that nachos and beer really eases the stress of big decisions, I recommend test driving it :)
A life that is “packed with experiences, light on stuff, and full of happiness” is exactly what I strive for in my budgeting. See: lots of concert tickets, but few new clothes. It works.
Yes! I love the concerts > clothes rationale, especially where you live there must be so many shows to choose from!
Thanks for always sharing your life with us in such a thoughtful and honest way. Your plan sounds foolproof and the perfect fit for your lovely life! :)
Thank you! It’s been an interesting one to wrap my head around, but I’m excited to see where these changes take us :)
My favorite little idulgence is coffee at a coffee shop with a friend.
That sounds kind of perfect :)
This hits home for me, too, as I’m about to become unemployed. I have no idea where I’ll be in a month, much less in a year – what I’ll be doing or with whom. But I know that I need to cut back, substantially, especially while I have NO income. Thanks for the tips & the reminders that life can still be good without all the stuff & pampering. As long as I keep my Netflix.
Canada is getting Netflix in the fall & I’m really excited – I think it will be a perfect little indulgence for us too. I hope you’re going alright with all the uncertainty, that must be so stressful! <3