May 10th, 2013
What you seek is seeking you
What if your best life is out there looking for you, hoping to bump into you at the grocery story or after yoga class? What if it doesn’t care if you’re not wearing makeup, or if you said the wrong thing or should have replied to that email yesterday? What if it it was bring magnetically drawn to your unique you-ness and was hoping to coax you out of your shell and into you greatness?
Something about living in a small city makes it easier to see the connections between people. How when you make a positive connection with a like minded person, in the right place at the right time, you can propel yourself forward in the story line that you half imagined for your life by leaps and bounds. As all small towns do, it can also crystallize how relationships or situations that don’t serve you can slowly pull you into a life that doesn’t fit your heart, which can make linger on forever in the worst way.
This week is the anniversary of one of those small moments where it really felt like the life I was hoping for actively found its way to me. Eight years ago my husband and I had been dating for six months, and he was permanently relocating to Florida. We knew it was coming, that we would probably break up, and it made getting to know each other and fall for each other incredibly bittersweet. The day arrived and we got ready to say goodbye, but the trip was delayed by chance for a day. That evening, the job he was moving for fell through and suddenly his move became a road trip. Six months later we were living together, and this Christmas is our nine year anniversary.
I’m not trying to say that I have a dream life, or a perfect relationship, but this week I’m feeling grateful and it’s hard not to notice such a clear fork in the road. While most of the magic that underpins our lives is more subtle, it’s just as powerful. Like the decision to take one class instead of another, or following the instinct to speak up for yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable. I’m a profound believer that the little actions add up.
Maybe another way to look at it is that as ordinary acts of bravery inch you in the direction of your true values and deepest passions, you start to shine brighter and it’s easier for your dreams to find you.
So your dream life might not be out there on a tropical island, waiting for you to RSVP but I bet it’s much closer than you think. It could be out there in the wild blue yonder, but it could also be tucked between pages at the library or tangled in a tub load of laundry at the laundromat until your decisions make you a beacon it just can’t miss.
Are there relationships or situations in your life that are draining you?
Is there something that’s especially charging you up & feeling aligned with your “dream life”?
Image: Patti Murphy Designs
For me, the last few months have been less about leading me toward a specific path and more about turning me away from the ones that just aren’t right for me. In the last 2 months I came back early from a teaching job in China that was leaving me drained and unhappy and ended a 3.5 year relationship that was no longer working. Even though I’m still looking for a job, I’m so much happier because I’m feeling like myself again and making lasting friendships that strengthen my confidence and my faith. Spot on with this post, Kyla!
Love this post, love your story and love the concept of ordinary acts of bravery. Thank you.
This is just fabulous. And what a great story of you and your husband!
Also, I love you and your husband’s story. It reminds me a little of my own (with my fiance). It was our first semester of college, and I was so lonely that I was considering applying to transfer to another school over winter break. One week before winter break I met my fiance! It changed everything and I ended up staying at the college (and loving it) and dating my future husband. I always wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t met him that week…
What a wonderful post! I love the idea of “ordinary acts of bravery” – an idea that seems like an oxymoron but really doesn’t have to be. I wouldn’t say I have my dream life quite yet, but I’m definitely more inspired lately to try harder to get there, mainly by looking for freelance writing jobs that are more interesting to me and don’t just pay the bills. Thanks for this extra bit of inspiration!
Love this! Happy anniversary =)
What is draining me the most is all the post-divorce stuff that we are (again) dealing with. It’s so exhausting, it’s a round about circle of nonsense to an extent and it’s SO unnecessary. I struggle with just letting it go because what is happening is just so WRONG and I want it fixed, rather than just ignoring it.
These moments are amazing! I had a moment recently where I realized I didn’t have to narrow down all my passions into just one and forget all the rest–which was something I’d been struggling with for a long time. I wrote a blog post about it: http://www.allirense.com/2013/05/09/confession-i-am-a-modern-renaissance-woman/
Little moments can have huge impacts on one’s life. That’s how I felt when I met my husband, totally by chance on the other side of the world from where I grew up.
It’s funny sometimes how that happens.
I am so glad you and your J had this tiny twist of fate :)
<3
What a story! It’s wild how these things work sometimes. :)
Thanks for the little pep talk – I just need to keep moving in the direction I want to be headed in, and take up the challenge My dream is out there, somewhere, but I have to take those small steps, one at a time. I totally admire you for grabbing your life by the reigns! So inspirational. xo
thanks for sharing the story… that is why we celebrate Cinco de mayo… Betsy moved away but we were blessed to add Kyla to the family…
Wow, this is exactly the post I needed to read, right now. Thanks so much for all the encouragement and inspiration. I’ve tweeted it today, as my inspiring read. :-) There have been a lot of changes in my life recently, and I feel like finally the life I’ve “wanted” is materializing. But that has its own stresses and insecurities, too! Thanks again!
Happy Anniversary! I am glad that there was a twist of fate that resulted in you two being able to stay together. I actually did not know that story so thanks for sharing!
Honestly, what is draining me right now is living in Charlotte. Which sucks because I can’t really change where I live and I am having a hard time rising above and seeing the good in this city. I know I will need to do that soon and will need to stop repeating to myself “I hate Charlotte” or it won’t get any better, but this has just not been my best week. But when I get to spend time with people I admire and adore (like you and Becky during our video chat) it does lift my spirits, so there’s that. :) I don’t even know what my dream life includes anymore, but I do know where it should be lived, and that is not here in Charlotte so hopefully I can find my way home after my year is up.