August 11th, 2008
WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH PUPPY TERRORISTS!!!(!!!)
It’s the end of a long Friday. I have bussed home in the oppressive humidity after missing my transfer on one of those days that you know that anything bad that happened only happened because somewhere, someone is wishing bad things upon you. You know those days?
All I can think, even when I’m just a block away from home is “I just want to be home!! And not be going to two florist meetings after I get home!!”. I am envisioning tea, a bath in my claw tub, and someone other than me making dinner. I open the door….to be bit and jumped on by puppies.
“That’s funny,” I think to myself as I ignore them and turn off the alarm, “my puppies live in a pen. And shouldn’t be biting me. AND SHOULDN’T BE BITING ME!”. The only thing left to do? Survey the damage while the puppies dance in all their glory, reveling in my defeat….
This was the first sign things had gone terribly wrong...
Free Range Of The House had made them drunk with power, and they obviously lost their sweet puppy minds. Mistaking our shoes for…the bodies of helpless animals…during the day they grabbed anything pertaining to feet that they could and piled them under our dining room table, now a make shift den.
Further disobedience...
Apparently wild beasts don’t ‘hold it’ when they have to pee, and they don’t hold back with the teeth either. That’s puppies 1 – Ikea 0 for those of you keeping score. But walk a little further into the house and the plan is revealed…
AH - FRIGGEN - HA!!
THIS IS HOW THE BEASTS GOT LOOSE!
#1 – After disemboweling a polar bear and Mickey Mouse’s hand, our tiny, cute, delicate puppies blew a drywall anchor clear out of the wall, leaving the clip dangling and enough room for a wiggly puppy to squeeze out
#2 – BEING EVIL, the puppies found out that DVD’s move! They move back into the bookcase when you pushes them with your heads and claws!! So a puppy body shaped indent was pushed into the DVD’s as they started on their afternoon abroad, peeing all over and chewing things willy-nilly.
#3 – They found Master and Commander as they were wiggling out, and something about the image of the ships appealed to them. Being boating guard dogs the Schipperke’s couldn’t resist watching Russel Crowe pace about his boat so they set it aside for later so they could fantasize about guarding Russel Crowe’s boat while eating our chairs.
She's making it up!! We're too cute for any of that! We sit and stay!! AND STAY - we swear!!
Please don’t be fooled…
These puppies are professionals.
cute pups remain cute until they pee on your bed
The first night I had my first schip, “Winnie-the-Pup,” I had him boxed in for the night. When I got out of the shower, he was in my bed, body under the covers, head on the pillow, lying on his back. This is one of those mental images that I still can’t believe, even though I saw it! When I was walking him in town, at about age 1, a guy in a car stopped and said, “Is that a schipperke? You just wait until he is 2!” I said, “oh god, then what?” He said, “his coat will be beautiful!” Now I have 3 of ’em. Nelly, not known for being top of the class, knows how to unscrew jars, and can get into any kind of grocery package. Any bag in the car is hers! You are so brave.
awwwwwwwwwww! my friend told me this weekend when it comes to doing less-than-appealing deeds, “if your friends didn’t see it, it doesn’t count.” i’d like to think that the same applies for adorable puppies!? THE CARPET WET ITSELF!!! and who could resist russel crowe anyway?
awww, look at the puppies! I am a softy for puppies. :] They are so adorable. I’ve been trying to convince my husband to get a puppy, but to no avail. Sigh.
How you could you possibly be mad at them???
Excellent post, mostly because you circled things in red like a tv play-by-play commentator. Although that stinks about all your stuff getting chewed on …
Kyla!! This is seriously one of the cutest and funniest things I’ve seen in a very long time. The pictures are absolutely epic. Your two dogs are adorable! I love the comparison shots where they are sitting nicely and then biting each other two seconds later. I guffawed at my desk while working.
Sneaky and vicious!
Yikes…
Oh yes, you must guest post for the doxie blog! Send a post whenever you have one and it will be up soon!
The chewing. Oh the chewing! Edie would chew on everything when we first got her, I was so happy when she stopped teething!
haa haa haa. Our boston terrier puppy learned how to pull the book covers off books, while leaving the book on the shelf. She would then shread the cover. I still have no idea how she managed it.
Oh you poor dear…at least I have one that’s fully trained and responsible with his house-freedom. Theo is still crated when we can’t be home with him. It’ll be a while yet until he’s able to manage the liberties.
You’re going to guest post for http://whosyourdachshund.net/ right? Right?? :)
OMG – what a terror your pups are! It’s posts like these that remind me why I’m so blessed to have the pup I have. From day one when we brought her home from the rescue organization, she’s never been crated or kenneled or locked in rooms. And she’s at the tippy top of behavior. You have reminded me how lucky I am. Sorry for your pain – those pups deserve a time out in the corner!
For what it’s worth, the damage to the house was minimal compared with the cuteness factor. Ahhh, puppies. One day you will love them again!