This weekend has, officially, been the beginning of the end. Pictures, knives, bits of ribbon stored for a project on another day are being tucked inside boxes and circled in packing tape and the mental process of separating myself from where we’ve been living for the past six months has started. The main thing that I’ve come to while we’ve been packing is that I really don’t want to move twice in six months ever again. Too many boxes, too many UHaul rentals, and too little of feeling at home.

The old apartment was a cozy 500 square foot little nest but after I finished school and fiance and I were both getting ready for work at the same time we had to upgrade our space. We couldn’t have people over because there was no room, it was sweltering in the summer as we were over top of the laundry room and all the heat from the dryer leeched up through our floors, in the winter we were frozen because the baseboard heaters didn’t have any of the coils that let heat move along them. I was on a first name basis with the property management.

We weren’t at all mentally ready to buy a house but at the same time the utter lack of space was claustrophobic and our furniture was starting to take over the rooms. Moving from it was easy because we were exploding out of it, if you opened a window an ottoman was likely to spring up against the screen, trying to make a break for freedom. The thing that made moving from that apartment hard was that it was home, the first place we ever moved to, our first apartment together. This time around it’s the reverse, there is room for all of our things, but feeling at home here never happened in the same way. I’ve never been totally comfortable, never been totally content with living here. I’m ready for our house. I’m banging down the door for Sunday to happen, I don’t like long goodbyes.

Tomorrow I’m going to my first wedding dress fitting, which I’m really excited for – I bought my marital bra last weekend, I have the white shoes I wore to high school convocation ready to do another shift for the wedding (or at least as a stand in for the fitting), and I’m ready to strap into that dress! I’ve make a mock up of a hair piece that I’m going to make once we’ve settled in and I’m feeling like soon when we’ve moved I’m going to be switching gears into wedding planning mode again. Tastings, cupcakes, and favour making here I come!

On Monday there’s wedding dressery, on Tuesday I’m going to see Jimmy Eat World, on Saturday we’re taking possession of the new house, and on Sunday we’re road tripping out of town to pick up our new puppy.

Big week!!