The Other Woman

She moved in with us yesterday…

She has some ‘ideas’ about making a wife out of me.

It’s like having a new baby in the house, I immediately took the dress to its ‘area’ and got it set up on the chair just like the saleswoman said I should….and then I had to post pictures of the dress to weddingplans asking the internet to help me put the train in the right position in relation to the chair so that it wouldn’t wrinkle up and turn into a prom dress because I’ve offended it.

I can see it now, coming home after work and the dress is halfway in the washing machine with blue and red dye all over the top of the maching shouting “You can’t stop me!! Only the leather jackets understand me!! I’ll dye myself purple and cut my train off it I want to!!! I’m not a child anymore!!” And I can’t reason with that kind of confrontation!

Last night was the tasting dinner for our reception and I was floored – I gorged on red lentil ravioli, pino noir, butternut squash soup, and an assortment of appetizers that were out of this world. I will break the back of my dress eating dinner, and frankly I don’t care! The meal was wonderful, sitting at the chefs table in the glow of the flames licking up the sides frying pans my mom and dad, fiance and I were in heaven.

My mom came back to our house after dinner to check out something about the dress….and told me that she and my step dad are getting divorced. It’s not a surprise, but it is really sad and it means that five out of five of the marriages in my immediate family have officially ended in divorce. I’m extremely proud of my mom for getting out of a non-functioning relationship, and I’m happy to call my step dad my friend, but talk about odd timing. I guess that’s how relationships work.

I’m going to take the whole five out of five thing as a Field Guide On How Not To Be In A Relationship, and a trend I’m going to buck, but I definitely feel like I’m in new territory with this whole marriage thing. At least there are no divorces (at all! Who are these people?) in fiance’s family – he has assured me that I’m seriously stuck with him.

I’m really going to have to have some words with the dress. Maybe she has some advice for me.