Nerves Under The Gun

Day 157

Today I’m going to my first of two appointments to have my sleeve shaded and coloured in, and I’m going to be honest- I’m excited… but I’m pretty nervous too. I didn’t write a lot about the experience of getting my outline tattooed because while my artist was amazing, the piece I’m working on is really large and my overall experience was really hard.

I kept waiting for the part where it was going to feel okay but it didn’t ever come, and after a few hours when we took a break… I burst into tears. I’m usually not a cryer, but I was exhausted, I felt dizzy and light headed, I was alone for the first section of the tattoo and unable to get in touch with Jesse, and my anxiety just  got the better of me- I got so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to get through it!

Hilarious fact – after two hours and a long time spent on tattooing my elbow, I burst into tears and my artist asked me if I was okay, this is what I had to offer:

*sniffle*

“It huuuuuuuurt!”

Luckily, after I got a can of soda in me I rebounded immediately and felt a hundred times better! And then I couldn’t stop laughing about how I had acted like a little kid! lol

For today I’m trying to prepare in the best way I can for another 3-4 hours of awful in pursuit of having my beautiful piece finished- and I know that it’s going to be so worth it! These are some of the things that I’m doing to try and make this a really positive experience:

heart Eat a giant meal before hand – I want to have enough energy in me to sit through this!
heart Leave early – Last time I got to my appointment 10 mins late and it put me in a rushed, freaked out headspace. Never again!
heart Have support the whole time – Last time Jesse came half way through the tattoo, and I really needed to have him there the whole time instead of worrying about when he was going to come and if he was going to be held up and not be there when I need him. This time? No guessing or worrying, he’s just going to be there.
heart Bring sugar & take sugar breaks! – I’m going to buy a bunch of little amazing cake balls called cakettes from my favorite bakery and bring them with me, along with pop. As soon as I got sugar in my system last time I felt like myself again and I’m going to make sure I take breaks to re-fuel.

I adore having  tattoos, but I hate being tattooed and I’m having a hard time being enthusiastic about going in today- even when I know I’m going to love the results the moment my appointment is over.

So today I’m not too cool to set the bar really low, and as long as I don’t cry I’m going to consider this a smashing success. Wish me luck! Also, hold me?