I’m quite fair, and my relationship with The Tan has always been a little tenuous at best.

In the summer I’ll come home with pink arms and nose from walking to the bus, which will go on until August when I stop turning pink, my we-were-Ukrainian-peasants-working-in-the-fields-four-generations-ago genes kick in an I am suddenly washed over by a deep sandy tan. Then in early October all the colour that has slowly accumulated in my cheeks washes clean off in one sitting and I’m back to a very pale & slightly pink square one.

This winter I actually went to the MAC counter and pleaded with them.

Kyla: “I need to find a bronzer or a shimmer – something that isn’t too dark but that will…”

Mac Lady: “Give you a little dimension, so you…you know………….don’t look sick?”

I still maintain that it’s only natural to look sick under mall lighting, for the record.

But the swinging between shades means all summer my makeup never works quite right – I end up mixing colours of anything I use and it’s had me thinking about tanning in general. Most of all: why do I do it?

I used to buy tanning minutes – I would slosh on the expensive tingly lotion and have the fans whip my hair around under the glowing lights while I wore impossibly small goggles. I would make sure I got a ‘foundation tan’ before going on holiday. I was queen of the SPF 2 tanning oil for years. Gradually, it has become less important to me, and last year it didn’t occur to me to tan before my wedding – I laid out on my patio with a moderate SFP the weekends, but taking transit and walking the puppies means that in the summer I’m outside a lot. A lot.

And I’ve started to notice things, like freckles on my shoulders and more freckles on my cheeks which I love, but have had me thinking. So this winter I made a decision: This year, I’m giving up the tan.

It’s a matter of philosophy, and this is my theory:

1. I have already had a massive 2nd degree burn on my face from tanning when I was 13 or so and it put the fear of God & sensitive skin in me.
2. I am in the sun a lot. Between the puppies and taking transit, I walk for about an hour every day and I run 2 – 3 times a week. That’s a ton of sun, and a ton of burning that I’ll suffer over summer. I will still get a little colour through sunscreen, I just won’t burn and re-burn constantly.And the biggie…
3. I’m so young!! At almost 24, I’m as attractive (in that just past teenage way) as I’m ever going to be. While tanning might make me marginally more attractive now, not tanning now will make my skin exponentially less destroyed when I’m in my 40s.

So when you see me in Vegas, un-tanned in my yet-to-be-bought bathing suit you’ll know it’s because I’m planning to be hot when I’m in my 40s. Call it smart or call it deeply superficial, just know that if you need SPF 50 I’m only a phone call away.

I’ve always liked the beach better at night anyways.

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