January 13th, 2009
Job Poaching
One of the best things about job hunting is the interviews. Endlessly submitting resumes to jobs that I’m semi-qualified for? I can do without that. The job interview is where I’m at home. And having interviewed people at previous jobs? I feel it gives me a little tiny insight into what I’m up against. And it’s not pretty.
So I give you: Five Things You Don’t Want To Do in a Job Interview*
*based partially on being the interviewee, but mostly on being the interviewer of largely clueless people for a very short time some years ago
- Don’t make “friends” with the receptionist to get an edge. She isn’t interested! Be genuine, and polite if she speaks to you, but don’t ask what the other candidates have been like, tell her you’re going to die from nerves, or ask for her to tell the interviewers you are really nice. When I was a receptionist, those were the tame requests – that behaviour was reported straight to the boardroom after they left, and was followed by peels of laughter and lighting the luckless candidate’s resume on fire.
- Don’t have your phone ring, don’t answer it, and don’t fail to turn off the ringer so it rings a second time. If you’re applying for a receptionist’s position they still won’t be impressed by your ability to answer the phone. And referring to the job interview you’re IN as “another interview” and rolling your eyes? I’m right here, about to smack you upside the head, is all I’m saying.
- Don’t ask about maternity leave policies so fast! It’s an important thing, I get it, but please don’t ask in your first interview. And try to get the look of desperation out of your eyes before you ask. I get that it’s important – and evidently pressing – but you’ll freak them all out.
- Don’t ask how far away all the cute boys you saw when you walked in will be working from your desk unless you’re buying a desk and putting it in the hall. In which case I still don’t want to know. We already have an office hussy, is what I’m saying, and she’s territorial.
- Don’t smell like Baby Prostitute. Excessive amounts of sickly sweet, crazy strong perfume won’t help anyone remember you. Okay – let me rephrase…. excessive use of sickly sweet, crazy strong perfume will burn an indelible vision of your tragic, spaced out little face into my minds eye. But it will not help you
What are your best or worst interview experiences?
And I’m going to be guesting with The One And Only Jamie Lovely today! So if you can’t get enough, check out her very amazing blog (and thanks againg for asking me Big JL! It’s cool that I call you that right? No? Jay to the E-EL? No? That’s okay too. I’ll work on it.)
AND it’s Blog De-lurking day! If you read my blog but don’t comment please let me know who you are – just comment below (you don’t need a blog to comment) and say hi! I know I have a shocking amount of home town traffic so if you’re from The Prairies let me know – I might even buy you a hot chocolate!
I learned that you also shouldn’t ask about their pro bono/volunteer work initiatives….b/c a lot of firms just do that to say they do it; they don’t want to hire people who are really dedicated to that sort of work. Anyway, happy Thursday!
I love your blog, congratulations on all the awards. I am not necesarily delurking but I just wanted to say hi!
hope the interview went well.
I found your blog a few months ago and have commneted sporadically. =)
I am not a fan of the interview process at all!
I’m delurking!
I know, i know I’m late. But still. I’m here!
These are killer tips, girl. And should be obvious, but are evidently not! However, I have to echo from your first tip– DO be NICE to the receptionist. It blows my mind how some people think it makes them look “powerful” to talk down to the receptionist. In a lot of offices, the receptionist has more power than you think!
Hey! I gave you an award. Go here to collect it, then pass it on if you feel like it.
Hot chocolate? I can get a hot chocolate? I’m in. Love the blog….creative….well written….humourous and amusing… :)
Be thankful that you can laugh at those sorts of situations.
ps. Love your blog. It’s one of my faves.
just came from an interview yesterday, and the girl before me did at least three of those horrific things, what a mess.
Racquel, I usually say something about how I find it difficult to work with/be patient with people who don’t seem to be as driven as I am or who don’t do their jobs well (basically, I try to find a polite way of saying that I don’t like to work with stupid people). It seems to work.
Technically I’m not a lurker, since this is the first visit. Great blog! I’ll be checking back… I’m looking to polish my interviewing skills, so I’ll keep your tips in mind (although baby Prostitute really isn’t an issue with me).
I’ve commented before, so I’m pretty sure that I don’t count as a lurker (although who knows?)
My favorite job interview question/answer is what are your strengths and weaknesses. Can someone tell me what the right answer too this question is? I feel like “sometimes I just work too hard” isn’t it…
I used to interview candidates for an entry-level editorial assistant position. One girl interrupted me every-other sentence. I think she wanted to prove that she knew her stuff by finishing my sentences for me or something, but it was just incredibly annoying and presumptuous. No, you don’t know what I’m about to say. Perhaps if you let me finish speaking you will be able to formulate a cogent, relevant response that demonstrates your knowledge.
Also, I was stunned at how many applicants came in wearing inappropriate attire. It’s not like they were baring their midriffs or anything, and most of what I saw would have been fine for a day at work, but an interview is not a day at work: it deserves extra attention and formality, and your attire should reflect that.
Hi Kyla… I found your blog sometime last fall and it has been a staple in my bookmarks :) I enjoy your creative and quirky view of life as well as the spontaneous blog searches that come to your readership. Keep up the awesome posts.
PS I think your neighbors are crazy but your home is looking fabulous <3
My best interview?!? Was for my last job (still work for the company just a different restaurant). The manager and I talked for 45 minutes about hair and makeup. He ended up making me late for my internship!!!
Not lurking! But hi! LOOVEE YOUU
I’m not a lurker but i figured I’d say hi anyway :)
AAAAHAHAHAHAA i love your tips, AND the additional ones from commenters… SO GREAT. i am *flabbergasted* that #4 exists. WHO DOES THAT??
Hahaha! I’m just imagining #5! God that would be terrible.
Oh my lord Kyla.. this has nothing to do with your post.. but I was watching the news and it said you were going to be -49 today. Bundle up, I’m thinking of you!
xo
Lurker sounds bad so I don`t wanna be one :-). I really enjoy your blog and your writing style. Since I`m going to move to Canada this year to be with my boyfriend I can use all the information on how to survive the canadian winter (I`ve been there before but never when it was really cold, just like -25°C)…brrr, not looking forward to the cold.. Good luck with the interview!! When I think about the interviews that I`ll (hopefully) have this year I start freaking out because English isn`t my first language (as you can probably tell :-S ) and that puts a lot of pressure on me.
Free hot chocolate with Kyla Bea? I think I MUST get out to Canada ASAP.
Not a de-lurker either but felt like I haven’t said hi in a while. HI KYLA BEA!
I’m not a lurker but I thought I’d pop in and say Hallo. I’m here :)
I hate not knowing who lurks my blog…
so here.
I usually never reveal.
Those are good tips! When I was a receptionist, my publisher would always ask me if the candidate said hello to me when they came in. When I asked her why she said, because if they don’t consider you, why should I consider them.
I thought it was nice.
My first piece of advice to any employee I like at my office is to make friends with the receptionist, admins and mail room people. Life is so much easier if they are on your side.
Ah, it makes me feel a little better hearing some of the ridiculous things people do during an interview! The worst thing I’m guilty of is just blanking when they ask a question I don’t expect – ah, HATE THAT! heh
Um, yeah. I spelled “prostitute” wrong, and I’m hoping that’s a good thing.
Heehee.
Baby Prostitude! Buahahaha! Love it.
Great list, though – I can’t imagine all you must have seen and heard during times like that! Gah. Some people apparently have no common sense. I remember a guy showed up to turn in an application in a cut-off t-shirt at my job once. I just stared at him, thinking, “WHO IS THIS GUY?” Seriously.
You are adorable, by the way.
i totally agree with the bad smelling for interviews, when i worked at our receptionist desk some interviewees wore waaaaay to much smell, it was nastay!
but good luck on your interview and hope you smelled lovely :)
Hello! Kind of delurking. Sort of. :)
PS: Hope your interview went well today!
guilty of lurking, though we’re twitter friends, so it’s not that creepy…
provided a link to my blog. don’t get around to posting much with school taking up most of my time, but have every intention of getting back to it soon.
well i’m here for the first time and i just wanted to say ‘hi’. and your blog is super cute.
Yeah, luckily, I’ve never been faced to that situation.
Oh, and good luck!
Ohhhh, the interview Don’ts. Yeah, I used to recruit for my company and could list them a mile long. Don’t email the recruiter every day wanting updates. Don’t Facebook the recruiter (didn’t happen to me, but I just heard that today!). Don’t have super long nails painted like a prostitute. And on and on and on…
Hi. I don’t know often I comment, but I am a regular reader!
A little tangential, but at the place I worked in Toronto, a woman once did a phone interview sitting at her desk surrounded by other people (her supervisor sat maybe four feet from her). She was promptly dismissed.
My boss said he once had a person in an interview who REMOVED HIS SHOES because he was hot. Come on!
Oh…and…I read your blog. I dont really lurk, Ive commented a few times, but not too often. I have you in my reader though!
Haha thanks for those lovely tips!
I told my last interviewer (now boss) that I cry under stress. What! Why did I SAY that?! At least my phone didn’t ring…
I usually meet and greet the interviewees we have here at our office. So far…
* I have been asked out. Twice.
* One even emailed me after the fact to tell me that he has never been greeted by such a pretty face before. He did get hired, then later fired, and then he started sending me very strange texts. A post all in itself.
* Many polite conversations about how busy my compnay is, how much we make, and etc, but obvioulsy they were fishing for information
Good luck! You’ll do great =)
Hypothetically, I might have just had an interview today. But if I did, it would be something that I’m still not publicly mentioning on my blog. But I am writing the post about the interview anyway, because the place seemed so awful! I’ll post someday. Also, I’m pretty sure the guy who was also interviewing with me was drunk, and that can be the only explanation as to why his tie was half un-done, why he hadn’t shaved, and why he farted. Twice.
LOL But what is Baby Prostitute is my natural scent?
Delurking to wish you luck on your interview!
Good luck! I suck famously at interviews. That’s one of the main reasons I went into business for myself. HAHA. No more interviews for me!
I once had an interview where I was asked, “What makes you get up out of bed everyday and work hard, because I know it’s not the $30K you made last year!”
What an A$$. I wanted to punch him in the face right then and there.
Good Luck!
I have commented before, but still: Hi!
Your Mean Girls reference was not lost on me :)
I’d love to say those suggestions are all just common sense, but clearly you’ve proven they aren’t. Or that common sense isn’t really that common. One of those two things.
Happy Delurking Day! Those interview stories are crazy. I don’t understand how people can be so clueless. It’s called common sense! haha :)
You are SO right, the receptionist is definitely NOT interested
Also, good luck with your interview! I hit post a little too quick there.
Hello on blog de-lurking day! I’m a lurker who found your great blog from my friend The Maiden Metallurgist’s blog. So hello from Colorado!
delurking myself :)
good luck on the interview!
some people are completely clueless with how to act on an interview, i’ll never understand it. #4 made me almost fall off my chair i was laughing so hard. :)
good luck on your interviews girl, you’re going to do AMAZING!
xoxo
ps. i loved your post over at jamies blog, too funny!
Haha. I love it. Good luck on the interview my dear!
Good luck on your interviews! It’s crazy the things you learn from others, isn’t it? I had to do interviews in Cambodia. It was hilarious. It was such a foreign concept and they did the most hilarious things! One woman ate (with her fingers) throughout the whole interview. Hahaha.
When I was done interviewing for the job I’m in now, my interviewer, my now boss, walked me around the office and introduced me to the members of the department. I graduated from a university that has a lot of rivals, and a lot of the staff members were graduates of these rival universities. One staff member said, “Oh, another Aggie? Soon they’ll just be running the place.” I must’ve turned bright red because she started apologizing profusely. She said, “I must’ve scared the daylights out of you!”
Yes, as someone whose nerves are more than a little shot from an interview, yes you did.
MAN! I should have read this before my interview this morning. I wasn’t aware of the baby prostitute rule, I thought that was okay now.
hehe, just kidding. I hope your interview(s) go well this week!
xoxo
the cellphone one seems so simple right? but i’m always surprised when i an interviewee checks their phone. like what? put that shit away!
oh yah, and my favorite is always when someone would come in to fill out the paperwork and then when you tell them they have to go do a drug screening they ask if they can come back tomorrow.
HAHAHAHA… my best friend is in HR and regales me with similarly amusing tales all of the time.
i’m a big fan of the interview too… i always feel like if they would just meet with me they’d want to hire me! last year was the first time i’d EVER gone into an interview and NOT been offered the position. it was devestating but i’m still looking forward to the next in person interview i ever get : )
Oooh, job interviews are scary and thrilling!
So much possibility.
Best of luck to you! And let us know how it goes, yes?
Good luck!!! Can’t wait to hear how this pans out for ya! :)
Good luck Kyla! I can’t wait to hear about the interview. I’m obviously not local to The Prairies, but I will have hot chocolate in honor of you. ;)
I love job interviews too! The chance to talk about how awesomely professional you are for half an hour? HELLS YES.
Good luck :) And I won’t mind if you decide to be the office hussy.
Wow people have done that shit? That’s crazy, especially the receptionist shit. What a joke.
It amazes me when hear of some things people pull at job interviews, that they are so clueless is unreal to me!
Good luck on your interview this week! :)
I wish that I was a in your city so that you could buy me a hot chocolate. Except there’s all that snow, so maybe I wish you were a Vancouverite so I could buy you a hot chocolate.