On Marrying Young

“Getting married is fine as long as you’re sure, right? If you’re sure why wait?”

“Well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with waiting. I just don’t know that we would have got married for a long time if we didn’t do it now.”

“Hmm…..How old are you though, you’re super young right?”

“Yea, I’m twenty three”

“That’s what I thought….well if you’re sure!”

One of the things that can always stop me in my tracks is the truth that can bubble up from conversations with strangers. None of my friends have ever asked me if I’m sure about getting married. No one has broached the subject of my age with me. I’m sure that it’s something that crosses their minds but, no one seems to be able to articulate it. And when people put things in those terms…..I don’t know how to answer.

I mean, what is it exactly that I’m mean to be unsure of?

I think and hope that the lack of questioning from my friends & family has something to do with their faith in our relationship- fiancé and I have been together for coming on four years and have lived together for three and a half of them. As much as I’m firmly planted in the lean years of my twenties, I’ve always felt more like a thirtysomething than anything else. I’ve been working full time for three years, I’ve only ever worked with people my age at one job I held for 4 months, and now with the dogs, mortgage, and relationship that’s past the first date phase…

I mean it doesn’t scream Twenties to me.

No one else I know is doing this – I only need one hand to count the number of my friends who have been in relationships for longer than six months, and almost none of my friends have even been to a wedding before. I mean, I’ve only been to three weddings, and for one of them I was the flower girl.

Honestly, that part of this is a little daunting. But that’s not about our marriage, that’s about…being the first person I know to jump off the 10 meter diving board. That’s about unknowns, and only having my future husband to talk to about what this marriage is going to be, but there’s intimacy in that, even if there’s a little uncertainty.

I’m not ready to never go out. I’m not ready to talk babies. I’m not ready to give up my girls. I’m not ready to ask the person I love to change, or for us to make more money, or for us to try and impress. I’m certainly not ready to give up the idea of turning my tattoo into a back piece. And no matter how much life experience I’ve crammed into myself, I’m not ready for us to be full blown adults. And I don’t think that we should have to be.

The reason I want to marry this guy is because of how great we are together right now, how great we have been in the past, and how great we will be in the future – as different as that picture will be from how it looks now. I don’t want our wedding to be a classic and timeless affair – I want it to be full of our energy and passion, and to reflect who we are at this moment in time exactly. I want to have an amazing time, go to our fancy hotel room and collapse in a heap of love, and go back to work in three days. I want to have our families meet, see our new home, have some great food and give them the first marriage in either family in over 20 years.

I want hope to hang thick in the air, ready for us to turn it into reality.

Fiancé doesn’t have to be my husband to ask “Are you okay?” from downstairs anytime I clip a door frame with my shoulder, and I don’t need to be his wife to be able to tell who he’s talking to on the phone by his tone of voice. My name is going to be changing at the end of the month, but right now I think that’s all that will be changing. And I’m really happy about that. If we had things that needed changing, I would be worried about this marriage stuff.

When people ask me if I’m excited for the wedding, I answer that of course I am – but in the grand scheme of things, the day is going to be a really personal ceremony followed by a wonderful dinner party. I’m excited to formalize my relationship with a wonderful guy. I’m excited to be married to him – just as excited as I am to be his girl, no matter what the legal status of that is.

Two Saturdays from now all I know is I’m going to have a ton of fun. I’m going to be ready.