Taking dedicated personal time for ourselves is hard. We put our friends, family and things we dread on our calendars. But if I look back at my calendar from two years ago, there wasn’t a lot in it dedicated to taking care of myself.
I used to feel like I was running to catch up… but I could never get there! That frantic state is the worst not just because it’s a hard place to live, but because when you’re in it it’s hard to even know what will make it better.
Last year I made the idea of “living with intention” into an active part of my life by taking dedicated personal time every two weeks to think, take care of myself, process my feelings and what was or wasn’t working in my life. It was also one of the best years I’ve ever experienced, and I don’t think for a second that’s a coincidence.
Now I get it: If I want to have a sane life that feels great, I have to schedule time to actively focus on what I need. So I’ve started creating personal retreats for myself through the year.
This might sound complicated, but it’s dead easy!
A retreat can be whatever you’d like it to be. It’s dedicated time for you to do what you need, care for yourself, and come away feeling refreshed.
Completely Biased List of A Retreat’s Fabulous Benefits:
- It lets you reclaim your brain, by actually addressing the thoughts and feelings that take up your energy when they’re constantly on repeat in the background of your life.
- It pulls you out of your head so you can focus on action – which is where the living happens!
- It’s a perfectly legitimate excuse to stay in your PJ’s all day, or have breakfast food for every meal.
- It puts you back on your priority list, so you have energy to offer people around you instead of radiating how you feel drained and worried. That switch of mindset might as well be a superpower.
Feeling convinced? Enough to tweet about it even? Then let’s talk scheduling!
How to Craft Your Own Personal Retreat
A personal retreat can be as elaborate or simple as you want it to be. At its core, it’s simply time intentionally set aside for taking care of yourself and getting centered again. Simple? Sure. But it has a big impact.
Choose an amount of time that feels right to you
Your perfect retreat might be two hours in your bedroom, a lazy morning with your journal followed by an inspiration gathering afternoon at the library, or a weekend dedicated to reflection, journaling, champagne and spa treatments.
Chances are you know exactly what you’re craving and what would feel great now, so use that as a jumping off point! There’s no wrong way to do this, just make sure you set the time aside in your calendar.
Brainstorm ideas for comfort
Comfort is anything that feels soothing, or like you’re pampering yourself. Comfort can set the mood for your retreat and help you feel like you’re enjoying a rare treat.
Ways to add comfort into your retreat:
- Wake up without an alarm
- Take a bubble bath before breakfast
- Take an afternoon nap
- Get a massage
- Treat yourself to your favourite meal
Brainstorm ideas for self care
Where comfort is lovely, it’s a temporary treat. Self care is something that helps you on a level that chocolate can’t (scandalous, I know!) and will help you recharge in a lasting, meaningful way.
Ways to add self care into your retreat:
- Practice yoga, meditation or prayer
- Try taking an unplugged day, or turning off all your smartphone notifications
- Do a “brain dump” where you list out all the things that have been on your mind & that you’ve tried to remember
- Set up a call with a friend who can help you talk through something that’s tripping you up
- Journal about anything that’s been upsetting or worrying you
- Write out your current challenges, successes & what you’re craving. Ask yourself how you can make for more of what you’re craving to the coming week and month.
- Do a calendar audit to make sure your schedule matches your priorities
Write down how you feel when you start and when you finish
Make a quick scale from 1 to 10, and make note of how you felt at the start versus how you felt at the end of your time. Rating your time might seem silly, but it can give you a really helpful tool beyond your memory of how the retreat felt.
Especially if you’re going to be working through some harder stuff, the day might not feel like you’re frolicking through a meadow when you remember it, but you could come away feeling a hundred times better than when you started. It’s that lasting effect, not just your experience of the day, that holds the value so measuring it is important.
This is wonderful! I started doing something similar a few months ago, and it’s made a WORLD of difference in my life.
Instead of making it an at-home ritual, I schedule an afternoon every two weeks to go to a fancy cocktail bar in the mid-afternoon when there’s almost no one else there. I bring my journal & my day planner (but not my laptop), and sip something bubbly as I review everything.
It’s almost like working at a coffeeshop, but it feels much more special & indulgent.
And now I’m going to add your “does my time over the last couple of weeks match my goals & values” question to my review. I can see how powerful that will be when I answer that honestly!
Sleeping in is what I am craving right now. I don’t have t set anagram on the weekends, but my daughter is a really efficient alarm clock without the opportunity to hit the “snooze” button…
LindaLibraLoca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking
This is such a gorgeous idea. I’m totally putting a weekend aside soon to have a personal retreat at home! Thanks for sharing :-)
Needing this right now! We’re in the middle of renovations, so it will have to wait… but I think mine would be full of sleep, coffee, and at least partially baby free :)
Wow! It’s been awhile since I’ve stopped by. I loved this post and your site looks so fresh and fun. I loved coming back to see the changes. You rock!
Love and Luck,
Laurali Star
http://www.thesecretsurprisinista.com
Thanks for checking back in and commenting, Laurali!
Over the years, I’ve been such a people-pleaser and I started to feel so very burnt out. I’m slowly learning to say no to things I don’t want to do and make more time for myself. It’s funny – I used to feel so horrible disappointing people in saying no, but never felt bad for disappointing myself. I’m really starting to turn that around now though :) Each evening, I have a bath and read for an hour. It’s blissful and makes my heart happy! Awesome post!
This is such a great idea Kyla and it’s true that it really makes a difference! Love the way you’ve outlined the different aspects of it too. I love mini-retreats and I’m definitely using this post for inspiration in the future :)
I posted my blog… and then the first blog I read in a very long time was yours.
A match?
:)
I’m working on this beginning today!
Love this Kyla! I think self care is so so important. Especially when we so often fill our lives to the brim. I like to take care of myself by having one “sleep in” day every week where I don’t get up in the morning to work out and also by having one evening each week where I don’t plan anything. Then on the weekends I like to allow myself lots of time to do whatever I want, even if that’s laying on the couch watching episode after episode of House of Cards for 3 hours on a Saturday afternoon!
I think this is a great idea. I haven’t really intentionally carved out a day like this, but I try to include time each weekend that is spent doing exactly what I want, not what I have to do. So that means booking a massage, laying on the couch reading, knitting, or doing whatever brings me comfort and solace. Sometimes I feel guilty when I am doing these activities because I think of the cleaning I could be doing or I feel guilty over the expense of the massage but I know I’m worth these little indulgences. I am really happy to hear that you’ve found a way to carve out time for you!
I think you’re describing my weekend…lots of things that I had to get done, but every other moment I didn’t have something that I had to do I was trying to be kind to myself. Hopefully it’ll pay dividends this busy week!
Really great to read this! I know I need to do these sorts of things more than I actually do…but it feels so good to recharge and not be so hard on myself.
Oooh this is such a lovely idea. I tried to do this for 2 hours every Sunday for awhile but couldn’t quite stick to it. Your advice to set the time aside on your calendar is great…I’d add, make sure that roommates/family know what you have planned for your time so they can help give you some peace during your at-home retreat.
Oh wow, two hours every Sunday sounds dreamy! But also like it would be hard to keep up with, for me at least. I’m doing mine every few months. And I love your idea of letting everyone know what you’re up to so they know when you need some space, and when it’s fine to come chat. Thanks for commenting, Alicia!
We just talked about journaling over on our blog today and I think journaling requires a perfect space to do so; it’s important to carve out that time. Thanks so much for the inspiration. I especially like the part about brainstorming what you want out of your personal retreat.
I’ll definitely hop over to read about that. I know that I have to be in a certain headspace to journal, and often right before bed when I have time, I’m not in it. Now I’m using the time before dinner, or first thing on the weekends and I’m getting more out of it – and without feeling guilty because it’s the last thing on my list! The perfect time never comes, so finding a better time has been really helpful for me. Thanks for commenting!
I loved this post! I have been trying to focus more on “me” time as well to help me deal with stress. Yoga and meditation are my go to but with meditation I always find myself going over my to-do list so I tend to lean more towards yoga where I can’t drift into thinking about all the things I need to do. And I totally agree with the above commenter (Ashley) TREAT YO’ SELF!
That’s exactly what I was hoping to get out of this practice too, Kat. I love yoga and meditation, but they sometimes aren’t enough for me to actually dig into and process the things that I have on my mind. My retreat days are for taking those pieces and complementing them with taking on what’s on your mind head on – and on getting to action around those pieces too. Do you journal at all now? I didn’t for a long time because I got in the habit of rehashing my days, but now I use it to ask myself big questions and go through my weekly challenges and successes and I can’t get enough of it.
Such good advice! Too many people get caught up in the business of life to take the necessary time for self-care. Doing this will only lead to further stress, anxiety, and suffering in the end. TREAT YO’ SELF!
Treat yo’ self indeed! (This is one of my all time favourite moments from Parks & Rec! Ah, Ben…) Thanks for commenting, Ashley :)