February 15th, 2011
Make Your Own Mentor
Sometimes when I’m trying to learn about myself, or grow, or get better at something, starting with myself starts me off in the wrong direction. The current version of me always seems to be wearing jeans that need to be washed, or have bed head that’s not the sexy kind, or have chosen a lipstick that’s not write the right shade. I want to learn from the me that’s ten years older than I am, because sometimes I just doubt the ability of Current Kyla to teach me things! Do you know what I mean?
Over the past year I’ve come up with the perfect way to get around this, and my solution is to make my own mentor. My inspiration book is one of my favourite places to work out my thoughts, and it’s where I do my mentor profiles every now and then, so today I’m showing you between its pages for the first time- handwriting, magazine pages, tape & all. I hope you enjoy it!
Making your own mentor is a lot of fun, a great learning experience, and you get to pick whoever you like! Anyone who inspires you is fair game, as long as you can find out a little about them and can look through their work or online presence a little. The best part? You don’t even have to take them our for lunch. In fact you can treat yourself to lunch instead!
My mentors come from all walks of life- they’re men & women, bloggers, photographers, business people, writers & free spirits. They change all the time, and because I file them into my inspiration book whenever the mood strikes me it’s fun to flip back and see who has been inspiring me at different times over the past year.
I chose Kat Von D earlier this winter, when I saw the first season of her show LA Ink- I was really struck by how quiet, emotional and self aware she was, and how at the same time she’s totally playful, is covered in tattoos and has tons of confidence. It was so interesting to me, and I wanted to make sure I included her. A few of my other mentors from the past year have been Susannah Conway, Elsie Flannigan & Danielle Laporte.
The profiles that I’ve made up so far always have three sections:
Who? – Where I write a brief introduction about who the person is & some information on what I know about their life
Why They’re Magnetic – This is where I write about what makes this person amazing! Why are people drawn to them? Why am I drawn to them? I try to define the person’s “X Factor” through my perspective & narrow down why I find them compelling.
What I Want to Take From Their Story– In this section I go through what I know about the person, from what makes them irresistible and unique, to how they run their business and any truths that jump off the page at me.
I love how this puts my learning and personal grow into my hands- but focuses me on people I look up to. And at the end of my profiles, the “What I Want To Take From Her Story” section actually tells me an amazing amount about who I am and where I want to go. It’s a little bit of soul searching, a lot of learning, and something I always look forward to.
Have you ever made your own mentor? Who is someone you look up to?
I would looove to search through people who inspire you, I bet we could come up with an amazing list of names together!
Ready? Go! :)
I know I’m a few months late, but it’s funny reading this because lately I’ve been catching a lot of LA Ink on TV and really admiring Kat Von D. I’d definitely call her an inspiration.
Mata Hari would definitely be in my mentor book. She was just such a fearless woman who flouted society’s conventions for a woman and just did whatever the hell she wanted. All while working as a spy. Love her.
I feel very honoured to know i helped in some way — thank you! :) x
What a fantastic post Kyla! There are many, many women out there that I adore, but I guess I’ve never thought of them as mentors. Probably because their awesomeness is so overpowering that I can think in details. I think writing out what you admire about someone and what you might like to emulate is a really powerful tool – something I’d like to do myself one day. Thanks again for a healthy dose of inspiration!
KYLA! This is so great – I hope it is okay if I borrow this activity and use it with our mentors… I work for Big Brothers Big Sisters and I think it would be so awesome to do this to get kids familiar with the idea of mentors and get our mentors reconnecting with the idea of mentoring… I LOVE THIS! I am totally doing this on the weekend… is it okay if I use this activity? I never know about ownership of things like this.. I may drop you an email too seeing as I am so many comments late to the party! :)
/Dana
I agree with the above comment :)
This is such a fun idea! I’m lucky enough to have a few real life mentors I can get around weekly, but I turn to awesome ladies like you and their blogs for mentorship as well… anyone who teaches and inspires me I consider to be one! I will definitely be making a book like this. Thanks for sharing!
Who? – Kyla Roma, a blogger, married, designer and pup lover.
Why They’re Magnetic – Completely joyful, contagious enthusiasm, lust for life.
What I Want to Take From Their Story- Optimism and joy are really effective. Going through my own anxiety and depression, if I can be this joyous, I’d love to learn how.
Just a gist of who my mentor is ;)
i LOVE this! soooo copying this… i’d love to see more of your pages!! :) so inspiring!
xo,
christen
http://christenkrumm.blogspot.com
I don’t know why I never came up with this idea. Simple, effective and it sounds like fun too! I’ll have to try it.
Zelde
I adore Kat Von D. She’s been an inspiration to me for years now and I’ve read her books more or less as well! Good choice :) I also really love that inspirational book you have. I’m always looking for new ideas to stay inspired and I just love this one!
I’m such a terrible commenter lately, but you know how much I adore you, right? Because I do. A lot.
I really, really love this idea, Kyla. You’re so inspirational and creative. I’m not sure who I would choose or why. Must think about this.
I’ve never done anything like this, but I LOVE the idea! I’m definitely going to have to incorporate this into any journaling/thinking I do. We can all use more inspiration and people to look up to. :)
I love this idea. LOVE IT. Although I’m not a huge Kat von D fan, I do respect her as a businessowner doing things she loves in her rules. That is admirable.
woah man, I think we may be journal twins. haha, no but really. I write regularily about the ‘magic’ i see in people, whether in my daily life, from history, or in pop culture. I think one of the biggest gifts we are given is self reflection and turning that into self growth. Why not look around us and use all the ‘observational learning’ we can to get the best out of life!
Good call, and thanks for sharing!
-Lauren
in all honesty: YOU, KYLA. i totally look up to you. i forgot how i stumbled upon your blog — probably via liz franco. in any case — i adore you. i sometimes read your posts out loud to my husband because (1) i can identify with you on many things and (2) you express yourself beautiful each and every time. you are smart, brave, and beautiful, kyla — and your blog is a precious gem.
This is such a brilliant idea! Since I’ve started reading your blog, you’ve been such a huge inspiration – I love your enthusiasm, honesty, creativity and your guts! Thanks for being amazing, Kyla.
I absolutely love this idea, Kyla, and think it would be a great way to jump start some type of inspiration journal!
Wow this is such a great idea. I need to start using my “inspiration” journal a bit more. I am still struggling to figure out kind of where my blog is going and why it’s going there. Up until now, I’ve been kind of happy to let it just go where it takes me…
Ellen Degeneres would be high on my list of Mentors as we as Kyle Hepp.
Haha neat. I do similar but have never really talked about it with anyone (and your method is much more organized than mine). Audrey Hepburn is one of my biggest inspirations. Along with Viggo Mortensen. Keria Knightley. See? I could just keep going and going. I like how you take your inspirations and put them down on paper. I’m thinking about doing something similar now, because I’m curious to see how my criteria could change for the same person over time and I change and grow. It would be almost like a journal of sorts.
Personally I like that Kat doesn’t have the “perfect” life (regarding relationship comments). That makes her even more real. I like that she’s human and doesn’t hide it, as I would with anyone I find inspiring. Everyone has things in their life that they struggle with or that they excel in. I think that would make them a more accessible mentor.
I LOVE this idea – it’s brilliant! And I am a huge Kat Von D fan too…I think she’s the coolest. :)
ugh, i just wrote out this huge heartfelt explanation as to why i think this post is so amazing and why i think you are so amazing but it all got erased… I’m going to have to send you an email with my thoughts later. but seriously, you are really inspiring kyla. your mind is incredible with the creative processes you come up with. so admirable.
xo Moorea
Ah, awesome idea!! :) Kat is my fave, too! Elsie is definitely on the top of my list, as well as Susie Gahremani & Emily Martin (as far as indie bizz, goes!). You’re clever, Kyla!
Oh my gosh! Emily Martin, I could talk for days about how much admiration I have for her. And Susie Gahremani is actually totally new to me- which must blow what little cred I have ;) So excited that you mentioned her name though, I’m totally fascinated & have a new artist to explore! *excited*
Eeek! :) Susie’s my favorite. I’ve been a fan of her shop & work for *years*, I swear she’s the reason I started shopping online. he he. :) Happy exploring!
I love this idea. I would love to start incorporating things like this in my life. I have so many “mentors” that are amazing writers and such… Seriously, love this. Kyla, you are so creative and lovely and inspiring. :)
Just off the top of my head, I really look up to Robert Downey Jr, Natalie Neidhart, Bono, and my thesis advisor from my undegrad. All taught me that the road to your ultimate goal is a hard one but it makes it all the sweeter when you get there. I’ve also really admire RDJ for being so open about his past and how it’s shaped who he is now. I like how he doesn’t hide it or try to sweep it under the rug. I admire Bono because he doesn’t become less vocal about his beliefs even though people belittle him for said beliefs. I admire Natalie because she pressed on to follow her dream despite an unsupportive family (she wanted to be a wrestler and, despite being from THE family of wrestling, she wasn’t supported because of how women are treated in pro wrestling). I also really thank my thesis advisor for constantly reminding me that the projects other people put forward look so easy because I didn’t see the work that went into the projects. Everything worth having is hard to get to, she said.
Great post :)
Wow what a brilliant idea!! I think this would be fun to try.
Some of my heros are: Kevin Rose (founder of Digg.com) and Tim Ferriss (author of The 4 Hour Work Week). I’m really inspired by young business people particularly in the tech startup area.
Seeing Kat Von D as your mentor made me SO happy. I love her to pieces. I don’t like her show anymore because it’s become a soap opera, but she’s such an amazing and inspiring person. Have you read her new book? I LOVED IT. So much.
You picked the perfect mentor! :)
I watched a little more of her show & it’s almost funny- they seem to be pretty clearly creating characters because most of what she does is tattoo, work on projects in her office & take care of business. I don’t like the direction that it went in after a while either- but the start of it was a really cool insight into who she is!
This is such a neat Idea. I love it so much I’m going to try it. Thanks for the great idea.
Oh this is a brilliant idea, I love it! Kat Von D is one of my role models and inspirational people. I adore her!! ♥
xo.
I’m with kay – I have ‘collected’ a succession of public figure-mentors before, but I tend to keep them in my head too. Still, I totally love your idea and think it probably pushes you to dig a little deeper – the head is more prone to wandering, so sometimes you miss mentally jotting down your mentor’s babeness ;)
I try to pick the brains of people I admire by eagerly reading up on stuff they’ve done (maybe even buy a book now and then to dig deeper), looking at stuff they’ve made if they’re photographers or crafters, and maybe seeing videos of them if they do TED talks or tutorials…
I am a researcher myself and my current ‘superstar’ is Professor Brené Brown, who has spent decades studying what makes people courageous, authentic and wholehearted. It has inspired me NO END and I can’t sing enough praises for her! She tells many personal stories related to her research that make her ideas hit home even harder – plus she’s my model for being an awesome public speaker. :)
Here she is: http://www.ordinarycourage.com/
Thanks for being inspiring as always Kyla! Always looking forward to your next posts :)
I tend to sort of “suffer” from the jealousies a lot, so I started doing something similar recently. I ask myself what I’m jealous of, and if it’s something I just admire, or something I want to strive towards. It helps me sort out my feelings and also gives me a unique way of looking at goals and something to strive for, plus a model of how to do it.
I’m going to echo everyone else in saying what a fantastic idea this is. I can’t wait to dig into my own mentor list!
This is such a great idea, I would love to try this out for myself. Thanks for the inspiration!
I LOVE this. I do have ‘mentors’ but I keep them in my head – I’ve never actually written it down like you have but I think it’s a great idea and something I’m actually going to start doing. I can see how it would really help me focus on the specific attributes of these people that I can try and work on in myself. I also find it interesting to compare how these seemingly different people can have more in common (at least to me) than initially meets the eye. My list of “mentors” include: Angelina Jolie, Cameron Diaz, and the blogger Maryam from the blog My Marrakesh.
Wow… I have to say, you’d definitely find the first place in my mentor book. This is such a clever idea, and I see how all the bloggers, photographers and real-life women I want to emulate as I grow up, for style and business and personal lives. Some of the top people would be Taylor Swift {I love that she sticks to the way she makes music and really embraces it, and how she’s not afraid of confrontation, and the way that she seems so down-to-earth through all this}, Elsie Flannigan {she has amazing style, and the way she runs Red Velvet–her work-life balance seems brilliant!} and also my mum, admittedly not an online presence.
My mentors have usually been people in real life that I knew from school or work. I did notice, though, that I have a really hard time with “life” when I don’t have a mentor. I need one to bounce ideas off and ask questions and get feedback and confidence. But I suppose this would be a good thing to do when I don’t have someone regularly in my life.
btw – You and I write our f’s the same way. :) I love seeing others handwriting. Yours is so pretty!
I love this! I am constantly seeing women around the blogosphere and in the business world and thinking “omg, she is so inspiring” but I’ve never taken the time to figure out WHY or WHAT is inspiring about them. I think it sounds like a fantastic mini-project :)
This probably does sound totally silly, but one of mine is Johnny Depp. I don’t say he is my mentor because of well – why MOST girls like him – but because he pours himself into the characters he plays. He truly goes all out, isn’t afraid and makes a name for himself. I also love that he surprised the little kids at school in England. :P That was awesome!
I don’t think that’s silly- Johnny Depp would be fascinating if you put his personality and charisma into the body of an accountant, I don’t think that would make him a “better” person to look up to. I think it’s really cool to take what you can from all different kinds of people with all different life experiences.
And I love that he does the school surprises too! If only he did birthday parties, mine’s coming up quick! ;)
ps – I would totally invite you, don’t worry- I’ve got your back!
Super creative, as always my dear friend.
I would never have thought of this or looked at in this way at all! But I love it!
Can’t say that I’ve ever made my own mentor. I don’t even know who I would choose…. I wonder what that says about me!?
This is suchhhh a cute idea. I definitely may have to steal this at some point! I’m usually such a straighforward journaler–Just a journal, and my handwriting, and that’s it. But I reallllllly want to get more creative with my journaling. Maybe have a second notebook just for magazine clippings and inspiration instead of just my handwriting, you know? I’ve always been curious how other people do it because it doesn’t seem to come naturally to me, haha. But anyway. This is a lovely peak into something that’s so special for you! <3 Thanks for sharing. :)
Make Your Own Mentor – never heard of it, but I love the idea of it. It makes you think about why you like others and how you can apply that to your own life. Though, in your example, it begs the question … are you able to overlook poor choices in a person’s life (i.e., Kat von D’s choice in men) and only focus on the things you like? Or, do you need to be in awe of the person as a whole?!?
lol This is such a funny question to me, it’s like “Would you respect someone if you found out that they’re divorced?” ;) I know that she has had public relationships, but that’s really not part of how I choose the people I profile. For me, these are women where something about their professional lives & brands are really interesting to me, and Kat Von D totally falls into that category.
The biggest thing that is interesting to me about her is that on her show she’s an emotional person and is really quiet a lot of the time! I really found it interesting to watch a strong woman who’s an introvert work as a manager and business owner, especially when so many of the personalities that seem to run into are super over the top and extroverted people. It was easier for me to relate to her than to a lot of the women in business I know, and I think that’s neat! :)
Plus, I’ll refer you to point one in my “why she’s magnetic” photo- she’s a total babe! And not afraid to be herself! I love her as an unconventional & inspiring strong lady :)
This reminds me of the journals I used to keep. I’d rip out inspiring photos from magazines and plaster the pages of my journal with them. I’d write on whatever page I found most inspiring. I miss it and it reminds me that I really should start journaling again.
This is a really neat idea. I am for sure going to try this out!
I love this idea – I never even thought of it! I’m going to be thinking of who my mentors are over the next few days – I definitely want to create a few pages in my notebook about this as well! Great idea, Kyla!
I love this! I think it’s really clever, and I just might have to start, both for the inspiration and because I never pass up an opportunity to buy a new notebook. Hahah. :)