December 17th, 2008
Equal Opportunity Holidays
A few weeks ago I read a number of pre-holiday posts by people who were looking forward to Christmas, and who were openly wondering about people who celebrate Christmas about aren’t Christian. These posts made me perk up because I was able to wave my hands above my head in the comments sections and go “OOH!! OHH! That’s me!! Went to Hindu temple for three years but haven’t really been to a real church service!! I love the holidays!!” Feel free to roll your eyes at me- I’m not offended! :)
Around my house the time leading up to & surrounding Christmas Day wasn’t about religion – it was about being together, as different as we were. My dad’s side of the family was big into the United Church, my mom’s side of the family was Ukrainian Catholic, and the rest of us were kind of in the middle. We didn’t speak Ukrainian, and didn’t live near any churches other than the very small town, intensely tight knit ones in the country. My parents never took me to church and didn’t teach me a lot about faith, but as I got older my mom got more and more interested in Hinduism and Buddhism and she ended up going to India a number of times before I was 10 years old.
I was fascinated by her stories. I could smell the heat and confusion of Delhi. I could see the bare light bulbs dangling from the airport ceiling, the beggars holding up sickly babies to the tourists and shouting for money, the merchants trying to pass off torn rupees – worthless once they’re torn – onto the Westerners. She told me about men standing on ladders smacking transformers with poles in the rain trying to fix the power, and just how fundamentally different life was. I wanted to go so badly, and my parent’s respected my interest. I learned how to write the alphabet in Hindi immediately, started living on milky chai, and went to Hindu temple to celebrate Diwali, be hugged by the ladies in the temple basement, and eat sweets that dripped in syrup.
And then suddenly I was a teenager, and religion kind of dropped off my radar.
In junior high and high school there was a lot of cultural mingling in my school. We were overflowing with international students, girls from Mexico, mainland China, Japan, Hong Kong, Columbia… and then there were the students from my city- an immigrant city to begin with. Everyone around me was Jewish, east Indian, south African, Dutch, German and Ukrainian. If you asked where someone’s family was from you were far more likely to get an overview in genealogy than you were to have a neighborhood or city as a response.
As I’ve grown up I’ve celebrated Ukrainian Christmas and Easter by going to midnight mass with my grandfather, I’ve gone to Jewish services with Jewish friends, Pentecostal services with Pentecostal friends, and meditated with Buddhist friends. I have friends who identify as many different religions – and some of them, like me, who just don’t really identify themselves at all. But religion aside, for me the holiday season has always been just that, about a season of getting together and reflection. Christmas is important to my grandfather (and my husband’s family), so we celebrate the holidays on Dec. 25th, but we also usually mark the day on Ukranian Orthodox Christmas, which is well after New Years.
This year I’ve been noticing just how Christmas-y my holiday experience is, and I’ve been thinking about the posts asking who would be celebrating Christmas if they aren’t really, you know, Christian. I think that maybe they have something of a point. So I’m instituting a new holiday celebration in our household. If I’m going to celebrate “THE HOLIDAYS” and make the emphasis about being together & eating great food, I want to stop being so exclusive to Christmas.
So this year, I’m adding Hanukkah into the mix. Or a big giant Hanukkah style dinner at least :)
The holidays are meant to be fun and about being together – and for me, they’re also a little open ended. And I’m okay with that. If I can kick off celebrating what a crazy year this has been a few days before I usually would with a really great meal, then I’m going to give it my best shot. Who knows, maybe next year I’ll start “the holidays” extra early by celebrating Ramadan too.
Wait. Doesn’t Ramadan involve fasting? Maybe I’ll look into solstice instead…because I’m all for new traditions, as long as they involve potato based meals.
I love love love this post! It’s fantastic how you’re so open to all cultures, holidays, religions. I’m starting to do that as well and it really is exciting.
I always thought it would be cool to be Buddhist or Jewish. I’m thinking I should celebrate Hanukkah somehow. Yay for lots of holidays! Fun fun!
Hey! Shout outs from one Canadian Prairie Girl to another. :o) Found your blog from Steph Corwin’s.
I’m not a religious gal, so I cherry pick from a bunch of different religions. Sure, we celebrate Christmas… in the GIFTS and EATING sense. We’re bad, bad people. *lol*
Just before reading this post, I decided that I’m going to ask my mom if we can make potato pancakes for our Christmas dinner.
Lol….At least Ramadan doesn’t take place over Christmas, so you wouldn’t fast during the best food season of the year. :)
I’m all about Festivus, as another commenter mentioned!
Don’t forget Festivus!
Dec 23rd….. it’s a Festivus for the rest of us!
If your a little confused by this type in Festivus @ Google and it explains a holiday for people that are different… it comes from Seinfeld and it’s pretty funny
I love this! Eric and I are sort of a-religious, but not at all agnostic, if that makes any sense at all? We went to a Unitarian church that had people of so many beliefs, but with common values. It really clicked, but we haven’t been back yet. I never thought I would miss celebrating Christmas, but I was in Italy last year, without my family (but with Eric), and it really made me realize how much I cherish spending the day with my family.
put on your yamikah!! it’s time for Chanukah!!
I can relate to a lot of this post! “Open-ended” is sort of how our holidays work too. We don’t go to Church, but we celebrate Christmas. We are very much people who think Christmas = family/friends together. And honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like the focus that we have. It makes everything feel, well, cozy. Except you know, by hour 5 of hanging out and we are all bored with each other.
Just kidding. ;)
It was so good to read this post! Growing up, my family celebrated Christmas and Hanukkah and because my mom was Jewish, that is how my brother and I were raised. But since the Jewish holidays often fall on weekdays my parents would rarely take off work or keep us out of school for them so they kind of fell off the map. Now I feel like I associate more with Christmas traditions – not for religious reasons but because they’re fun and spirited!
Ha, oh lordy! I was raised in a liberal church with a mother who is quite into it and a father who is constantly finding himself spiritually through a multitude of religions.
In 4th grade, our whole class was supposed to recite the Lord’s prayer in front of the church and then we got our Bible’s. I had just returned from Bhutan and had Buddhist chants running through my head. I accidentally said a prayer wheel chant instead of the Lord’s prayer!
Right now, some members of my family are on somewhat of a Bahai kick. We’ll see how long that one lasts.
Really though, we’re all quite spiritual. I am a Christian and I do believe in God. However, I tend to sometimes pick and choose things from all sorts of religions.
Doesn’t celebrating the Solstice involve drinking a beer with an Irishman on December 21st? If so, I’m all over that.
By going to France, that’s kind of what I’m looking for. I’m tired of being in a society where religions pray for each other to “get on track”, to know the “REAL religion”.
We all have choices, and we have to respect them. Other people having different religions doesn’t make them any worse. Diversity is always good.
That’s a novel idea. Even though I’m a Christian, Christmas hasn’t really been my time to “go home” since I got to college and my mother moved “home” 900 miles away. Now I spend Christmas either in Florida asleep in my mother’s house or with my boyfriend’s grandparents, neither of which are reminiscent of my fond memories of Christmases past.
BUT! Now I work with Orthodox Jews, and I’m throwing our company holiday party at my place on Sunday, which is the first night of Hannukah, so I thought about lighting a menorah and asking them to bring some Kosher Hannukah food for all of us to enjoy. This has just lit a fire under my feet. Thanks!
I love this idea! I am not a religious person either, but I love celebrating the holidays. And I’m always looking for ways to incorporate more potato-based meals into my life.
My blog may not ooze with religiosity, but I consider myself a Christian. Matt and I have never found a church where we feel at home, which is ok because we’ve moved so many times. He has an uncle who started a nondenominational church in Texas and we listen to podcasts of his services every once in a while. I pray to God, but I don’t take much else too literally. I’m with you on the whole ‘Christmas is about being together’ thing. And the food. Oh the food.
I forget if I’ve commented before…but if not, I’m officially de-lurking with this comment. I really enjoy your blog. I’m a prairie girl too (Saskatchewan), so I can relate to some of the wintery goodness that you write about sometimes.
This year my husband and I have decided to make New Year’s into a special tradition for ourselves. Neither of us are religious and we both like the idea behind New Year’s, with its message of new beginnings and reflection on the past year. Of course, we’ll still be celebrating the holidays with family and friends, but I’m looking forward to making a special day out of New Year’s. I dig the idea of somehow celebrating the solstice too.
yah, Ramadan is incredibly hard (from what i can tell anyway) i’m not sure that’s one i’d voluntarily take on. maybe something more like the Beheading of St. John the Baptist… you only have to fast for one day 8/29. baby steps : )
You are too cute! The only variety I have is that my mom is Greek Orthodox, my dad is Maronite and I was raised Catholic. So basically we just celebrate Christmas. We are buckets of fun I tell ya.
Ooh!! Me too! Well sorta. The beau and I both grew up Catholic but we’re stripping Catholicism of our Christmas and adding a menorah. We’ve even discussed adding some Hindu and Jewish traditions to our impending wedding ceremony! I’m all about equal opportunity holidays. I love the holiday season so much that I want to celebrate ALL of them. :-)
Sometimes I tell people that I am still trying on religion because I haven’t found one that fits yet.
The only thing ‘coming-out’ has ever got me is out of 9 o’clock mass at St. Ignatius on Christmas eve. ;) That and I guess a couple of other things. :)
Enjoy the celebrations this year! Don’t forget the dradle!
Awww, this post touches my heart. Lots of similarities in our views on religion and the holidays. If you’re up for it, you should try making Matzoh Ball Soup, which is typically served at Passover, but really should be eaten year-round. Then you can ask your Jewish friends whether the best matzoh balls sink or float. =)
This is great.
And, actually, Christmas isn’t a Christian holiday (technically). It was originally a pagan holiday that old-timey Christians started using to try and turn people away from pagan practices so they just started celebrating the birth of Jesus. I’m a Christian that celebrates Christmas as a time to be with family and not much else. I love this holiday for that, being able to be together and shower each other with presents (or not, in the years where we didn’t have money for presents we still got to be together!).
I love the way you take everyone in like that, because that truly is what this season is about more than anything. We always want to put labels on things and I think we should just ignore that crap and spend our time enjoying each other because we have this special part of the year to do that more than ever.
The more I read your blog, the more intrigued I am! You have such an amazing outlook and view on life. I love that you are up for anything, willing to cook new meals and try new things. (I mean, I am too, but I have never thought about hosting a dinner for my Jewish friends!)
You’re an amazing person, Miss Kyla! Enjoy your fabulous holiday season!
Me too! Me too!! I grew up Catholic, but in college, one of my best friends and I started exploring different religions. I’m not sure which one works for me best yet at this point, but I still love the holidays. I find, like you, it’s about being with friends–with the people you love, and enjoying their company.
I love that you got to experience so much as a child.
What I wouldn’t give to sit with you and pick your brain for awhile! I grew up in a very structured Southern Baptist family/church/city, and have since grown out of that and into someone who thirsts to know so much more about world religions, about different traditions and faiths and how people came to be and believe what they are. I’d give my right arm (or buy the wine?) to come sit with you and share experiences!
I went to a private school for one of my years of college and one of the biggest blessings was the international draw – I had Lebanese friends make the most amazing baklava and an Indian friend drag us all to this crazy thing I’d never heard of called Diwali that captured our hearts and inspired us beyond explanation.
Thanks for this post! I really enjoyed this, and I love how you’ve expanded your “holidays” to really mean more than one!
How interesting!
I grew up in a wide variety of religions, having lived all over the world.
Ramadan was over in September, which makes me laugh – because people are trying to force it into the Christmas/holiday season when it so is not about celebration.
Oh, America.
So, don’t fast. It’s way over. :)
(Also – how do you feel about Christmas trees? I mean, here people have labeled them “Holiday trees,” but does anyone really put up a Christmas tree for Hanukkah? We don’t call menorahs “Holiday Candles!”)
Yep, that is what the holidays are about for me. Food. Lots and lots of food. I don’t identify with any religion either, though I have tried. I just get turned off by all the rules that go along with religion. I feel like faith should lift you up and not come with a set of morals or duties or what you can eat on what day of the week. So, sure we call it Christmas, but it’s just about family and food and a day off for us.