But Can She Make It Out Alive?

Anytime I meet up with someone from the internet, even if they are giving me free things, my first thought is how I will defend myself when they try to kill me. Someone has a free sewing machine or $100 loom for me? Pfft. I bet they do. I bet it’s right behind the shakles and saws in their basement. I have an imagination, I have been in situations where people (albeit not strangers, and not via internet luring) have very convincingly tried to hurt me, and I’m one of those people who can’t watch horror movies with out having nightmares for months upon months.

I’m a prime candidate for stress in this department.

The most stressful times that I’ve dealt with avoiding my imminent death at the hands of would be killers was subletting my apartments. Every time the ad would go up on craigslist I would be sure of it. One of them would try to kill me. Why wouldn’t they!? It’s the perfect crime! People are showing their own homes, they let you in willingly, there isn’t anyone there, and when the crime has been done the buzz box just doesn’t get answered! I bet you $20 that this is the next big horror movie that’s made. Seriously, this is why I live with someone. If it wasn’t fiancé it would be someone else. Preferably my Portugese bruiser of a best friend who I’ve been exceptionally close with for coming on ten years who can and would hurt you if there was a hurtin’ to lay down.

Him or a cop.

I have all sorts of tricks for not to be killed and/or maimed. A whole bunch of people have the address of where I’m going, they know how long I’m going to be there for and when I should be home by. I might even arrange a coded phone call to interrupt our meeting! You never know! If I’m in trouble I might just let the words “midnight thunder” slip and then who’s going to be in trouble?

I just feel kind of silly that I went to such trouble when I was going to a loom lesson that was set up through e-mail.

The lesson went very well, without a hitch really, and the lady who helped me offered to come over and help me out if I get stuck at any point – she even gave me a tool to thread my loom with! I think I have a basic idea of how it works and I’m going to look out for some cheap lightweight yarn online now, and soon I might even work up the guts to use it.

And I didn’t even get attacked by the nice older lady with the thick glasses, turtles and cats, who had SIX looms in the front two rooms of her house.

But I bet it was only because if she killed me I would have stained whatever projects she’s working on.