Believing through it

This weekend…

finished assignments

blood donation fail

New macbook pro!

If you follow me on twitter you’ve already heard me shouting to high heavens about this but give me one more second of your time:

I’m done school until mid-January!!

It always shocks me how the removal of one obstacle can change my whole perspective, and finishing my last two assignments was transformative. I packaged them up, got them ready to mail (that’s right, I mail the assignments in. I go to school in 1978 in case you were wondering), popped them into my bag and…suddenly I had my life back. I kind of can’t stop beaming, and I don’t really want to.

Aside from being elated about finishing school, last week I was set on being brave and donating blood. I got up far too early, went to the clinic & a nice lady asked me if it was my first time attempting to donate blood. I was all “Attempting? Bitch, please!”, she rolled her eyes, jabbed me in the finger with what looked like a craft punch, took a look at it and was all “Your iron levels are too low, please take off your first time donor sticker.”

Well those might not have been her exact words, but she said it with her eyes. And what was I going to do? Walk around with that sticker on like a fraud? I was really disappointed that I didn’t get to give, but I thanked them and made an appointment for January. As a reward for how brave I had intended to be I scrambled over to Starbucks for a venti soy gingerbread latte.

On Thursday night Mister played Santa, coming home with my new MacBook Pro that we’ve been saving for, and a fancy Kitchen Aid stand mixer(!!!) that was marked down to $200 on the weekend- which means that I already have my Christmas present and I couldn’t be happier. And you’re not allowed to hate me, I’ve put in my time – I’ve been using a vintage hand mixer from my Baba’s basement since I moved out. I have to make pizza dough by hand because it will break my mixer, and at Christmas when I make over 200 cookies? That’s all shoulder pain, mixing and scraping. Plus I do dishes by hand every day because 100 year old homes with galley style kitchens have no room for dish washers.

But I could kiss my new mixer, and there will be pictures.

I’m so excited to have my life back, to have the next month of just working and being with my family & friends. I’m grateful to be able to afford a few fancy things that will make my life easier and that will be great distractions. I’m thrilled to be able to stop missing some of my favourite people and see them in Vancouver, and I’m even happy about the snow that fell this weekend.

Last week I was falling apart and finishing school seemed impossible, but now I know without doubt I can do this. Next spring I’ll finish my program and this will all be a good story to tell. Until then there will be family, friends, late night heart to hearts, holding each other together, good food, and a lot of laughter. I guess that sometimes when you can’t see your way through, there are other ways through that you just can’t see. You have to work hard, trust, and let go.

Believing through it

It looks like I’m going to have to teach my heart a few new tricks.