June 21st, 2011
A Week Full of Simple Happiness
It might sound strange, but I don’t think happiness happens by accident. I think it’s a practice like any other skill, and that it’s one I try to work on everyday. Every now and then I like to share some of the small things that are making my life better at the moment, so if you want to try some new ways to make you life a little more lovely, these are some things that might do the trick…
It’s all kinds of lovely to get praise from the people around you- but you don’t have to wait around! Sometimes I don’t realize that my internal monolog has been dragging me down until I check it with a few moments of encouragement. It’s a tiny way to start working on changing your world view to be a little kinder, because if you struggle with trusting and valuing yourself it’s really hard to extend those things to others. Even if it feels silly at first, imagine what would your world look like if every time you poured yourself coffee or brushed your teeth, you reminded yourself of some of the natural gifts you posses just by waking up and being yourself?
When I’m stressed out, caring for myself becomes a top item on my priority list because it’s one way that I can really make sure I’m caring for myself. Taking a bubble bath before work is such a luxurious and frivolous thing that it’s one of my favourites, hands down. No matter what’s going on in my day, if I had a giant bubble bath to start it off, life really can’t be that bad!
Sometimes the daily grind can wear through your imagination, which makes it harder to be a creative problem solver and to pinpoint the fun that can be had in an every day situation. A fun way to bring yourself back to a creative place is to create backstories for everyone you cross paths with. Maybe your bus driver is cranky because she was out late with her drag king friends the night before and lost the papers to her 1964 Plymouth after a tense game of mini golf. Maybe your new manager is raising her lover’s baby after he was killed in a tragic storm chasing accident, making her huge cyclone back tattoo now more bittersweet than ever. Who are you to say these things aren’t going on? It’s a fun game, I promise.
Confession: I watched the first season of Survivor and then decided to opt out of reality TV. For over a decade. Last summer fall I started watching the occasional episode of Millionaire Matchmaker, and eventually I started watching Sister Wives. Since then I’ve been a goner, and I have been so happily addicted! Having a great guilty pleasure is amazing, and it can be anything from leaving work to have lunch alone in a quiet place and listen to podcasts to having a day a week when you get into your PJs as soon as your day is over and watch a great 80’s movie. For me it’s watching any entertaining reality TV that’s aired since 1999, while I eat breakfast. As long as you revel in it? It totally counts.
We all have our specific insecurities, but sometimes they’re things that we’ve held onto for so long that they don’t really make sense anymore. Try choosing one of the things that really scares you – a “people will think I’m weird if I _________” kind of thing, and then be the weird kid for an afternoon. Wear that dress you never make it out the door in, strike up a conversation with a stranger, do your grocery shopping without make up, ask a cute boy for his number… whatever it is that you shy away from? Try owning that part of your inner weird kid in an out loud, public way for an afternoon. The world might turn out to be kind, you might turn out to be strong, or it could just be an afternoon of quiet bravery. Either way I bet it will be a great story.
It’s easy to complement someone on what they’re wearing, but it takes a lot more guts to tell someone you admire how they approach life with a sense of humor, or that their selflessness makes you think about ways you could try to be more like them. It’s easy to fall into the habit of addressing surface level things- and don’t get me wrong, there’s a place for that – but it’s refreshing and surprising when you tell someone what you appreciate in their character. I love looking for opportunities where I can stop being polite in favour of telling people what they mean to me. Try it out, it might be your new addiction too.
i think i might need/want to print this out and keep it in my wallet. great list – im going to add “write in pink” to this list. whenever im having a really bad/stressful day at work i write all my emails in bright pink. im sure it drives my coworkers nuts but things dont seem quite as bad when its in written in pink :)
This post is beautiful. I recently discovered your blog and am so happy I did! Your writing is awesome, and this post in particular is the type that I want to share with everyone I know- it’s easy to forget how valuable a positive perspective can be. Keep up the awesome work :)
I hope you know how incredibly beautiful and fun your blog is. The colors, fonts, topics of posts… You are truly gifted with this. I may or may not be jealous that you make blogging look so effortless. But nonetheless, I love this post! :)
Check out The Happiness Project; the author was on CBC the other night and was very interesting. And I must confess to somewhat of a reality TV habit. Deadliest Catch, Whale Wars, Storage Wars, Pawn Stars, Auction Hunters, Millionaire Matchmaker (especially when she flips out and throws clients out the door….need I go on?
I love to make up backstories for strangers. Especially at the airport. :)
I love the self pep-talk.
I sometimes take morning baths.
I love your backstory idea and just realized I do this too… a lot.
I watch America’s Next Top Model.
I’m definitely not normal.
I love giving sincere compliments.
Thanks for this post. Love it.
Kacie
http://www.acollectionofpassions.blogspot.com/
I love this.
As a “weird kid”, I know first hand how much better it is to just embrace it.
Reading a comic book on the train? Sure!
Having a Disney tattoo? Why not!
And I’m huge on guilty pleasures. But Is it wrong not to feel guilty about them?
ha! Definitely not, I think the reveling in them is the most important part ;)
I totally agree that Happiness is not by accident. I’m a true believer of “Life is what you make it.” These are wonderful tips. I just started my summer break and have been feeling a bit unhappy being at home doing nothing. I think these will really help me jump start those boring days!
Love this list! Such a great idea.
I also believe that happiness is pretty much a choice most of the time. You can focus on the not-so-great stuff, or you can do what you can to fill your life with joy.
I usually try to perk up my day once a week by making lunch plans with someone fun. It is great to get away and have a quick lunch with a friend!
What great tips and reminders for a happy life! I don’t know that I have time for a bubble bath before work, but I definitely give myself pep talks once in awhile and make up stories about people I see out and about in the city. Not only does it humanize the people around you, but it’s a great way to pass the time during a long commute.
I love this post! I actually took a bath before work this morning. It was lovely. No bubbles though…boo/hiss. Next time!
I love this list so much. So, so, so much!!
I love bubble baths with a fierce passion. I take one once a day and they’re always the best right after work. I haven’t tried before work but I imagine they feel just as good then, too!
That last point resonated with me a lot. It’s a project I might need to implement. :)
i love this post. such a lovely list of things that are definitely worth doing.
good list! also, i don’t mean to be nit-picky, but i think you mean “compliment” rather than “complement” (which means “goes well with”) :)
Bah! The curse of typing too quickly too late at night strikes again ;)
This is so so awesome… I think I’m going to read, re-read then re-re-read it again :) I so heart the humanize section. The stories were awesome!
I love the idea of taking responsibility for your own happiness, and treating yourself brilliantly rather than waiting for someone else too. Good post, hey :)
I adored this post! I especially loved “Be The Weird Kid”; not only does owning your weirdness/quirks/insecurities boost the happy factor, it’s also one of the first steps to being intensely fashionable & stylish. This might sound cheesy, but I’ve always felt that confidence is the hottest accessory!
Love this. It’s true… we should all be a little kinder to ourselves, because that will definitely translate into being kinder to the people around us… and if that doesn’t create happiness, I don’t know what will.
Kyla, you have no idea how badly I needed this today. You are awesome.
What an excellent post! It resonated with me, thank you :)
…and then this went and made my day:
“Maybe your bus driver is cranky because she was out late with her drag king friends the night before and lost the papers to her 1964 Plymouth after a tense game of mini golf. Maybe your new manager is raising her lover’s baby after he was killed in a tragic storm chasing accident, making her huge cyclone back tattoo now more bittersweet than ever.”
I adore all of these. Especially the guilty pleasure one. Guilty pleasures = sanity.
Some TV shows are my guilty pleasures and it’s funny how Monday & Tuesdays are my favorite days and it really makes me look forward to watching my favorite shows in the evenings.
This list is fantastic! I totally agree, happiness is learned! We learn every other activity and emotion… why not happiness? We have to learn how to let go and find our guilty pleasures, be the weird kid, and surprisingly complementing with meaning IS hard. I tried to do this for 2 weeks and struggled. It puts yourself out there. But it’s vital… and doesn’t that feel better to receive? Duh… feels better to give them too! :)
Love this post. Thank you!
This totally made my day! Thank you.
This was an amazing read. Thanks for sharing your inspiring spirit!
I fully agree that happiness is a choice. It’s like saying that we are all responsible for our own good time. So true. If I’m feeling down and put myself in a social situation, I tend to have a terrible time until I start to engage people and laugh on my own.
Such a great blog post to start my day with. Thank you! These things are so important to remember, but so easy to forget. I’m glad you brought them back to the forefront of my mind. :)
So awesome, Kyla! Guilty pleasure reveal: Jersey Shore – LOVE IT! Plus, it made me chuckle when I realized that wearing makeup to the grocery store in our little mountain town would mark one as Weird Kid ;)
You are so right. The boy & I have made it an effort to focus on happiness.
Like life, everything takes work. Including happiness.
Love you post!
xoxo.
Wow. Great post my dear. I agree with everything you said, but it’s always nice to get little reminders along the way. Even though they seem like such simple things, they really make a difference.
I would add, “Drink LOTS and LOTS of hot tea”. It doesn’t matter how gloom the day may be, warm tea makes things just a little bit more manageable.
Thanks for sharing this Kyla!
Great post! I read a book recently called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and she talks about some of the things you mentioned too, especially the fact that happiness doesn’t happen by accident. It was very enlightening!
This is such a lovely post! My favorite thing to do is invent stories for people. They are often dramatic and lavish but it’s so fun to create a life in your head for someone else. I agree with what you said about happiness being cultivated– have you read “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin? It sounds like something you would enjoy!
These are such great tips! Also, I’m pretty sure I’m the “weird kid” everyday of my life. Haha <3
This was really such a great post! It was the perfect reminder to start being a little nicer to myself and to get out there and try some new things. Something I do, that really works for me, is keep to lists that run side by side. One list is entitled, ‘Things That Make Me Ridiculously Happy’ and the other is entitled as, ‘Things That Make Me Angry/Stressed.’ It lets me get out my frustrations and helps me notice the little things I appreciate during the week such as a song by a good band, getting a cupcake during my lunch break, or the way I feel in my outfit. Truly, thanks for posting <3
Thank you so much for the reminder to treat ourselves with love <3
oh i love this post. one of my “smart people says” quotes on my blog is:
“Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.”
~Francesca Reigler
:) thanks for the reminder, kyla! xo
This is such a quality post, Kyla. This week has started out particularly rough for me, but your words boost my confidence in my ability to make it turn around. Looks like a nice, long shower and relaxing night at home for me after work!
Oh, I definitely agree that happiness is something you can choose to have in your life. When I’m going through a blue patch, I list three things every evening which made me smile that day and it gets me back into the habit of noticing the good stuff.
Great suggestions.
Love this list! Especially the be the weird kid and the making up stories ideas! (Oh, and if you’ve watched The Hills you have to watch The City!)
I think we’re twins! But I already have one, so maybe your our long lost triplet. I give myself pep talks on a daily basis! (‘You can speak German to the shop assistant, go on! They won’t be mean!’) I run through ridiculous, detailed scenarios and street scenes in my head non-stop as I’m walking/ travelling. I would LOVE a bubble bath but we only have a shower. I have a guilty pleasure reality tv addiction to Project Runway, which I watch in a corner of my screen if I’m doing mindless editing or something. (I’ve actually run out of episodes and have given Project Runway Canada two chances but I can’t get past the Iman factor) I love the weird kid idea, and I’m also loving thinking properly about compliments and making things I say to people meaningful. I love you’re little hints and tips about a huge range of topics and I secretly hope some of your organizational tips rub off on me :) Oops, accidental comment novel!
xo
I absolutely LOVED this!!! Superb!
What great reminders. I give myself pep talks a lot, as I usually wake up in the morning insanely anxious about one thing or another. It’s time I started caring for myself as much as I care about what other people think or want. Thanks, lady, you’re amazing!