The big day has come and gone and…. I have my outline!

{Tattoo by Rich at Kapala Tattoo}

The decision to get this tattoo took me a long time to come to. My last tattoo experience was hard. My koi fish was done on the part of my back where my chronic back pain comes from, and at the time I wasn’t doing much to keep it under control. About twenty minutes into the colour, I lost it- the pain went off the richter scale and the muscles in my back started spasming. I ended up having to leave, let it heal, and did two months of physio and massage and yoga to get the pain into a place where it was manageable. I went back and sat through the colour, but for a long time the sound of the tattoo machines made me feel like I was suddenly seasick. I knew that my shoulder pice was something I wanted, I wasn’t sure that my body could handle it.

And of course, my questions didn’t end there. While I loved the idea of having a big visible tattoo in theory, I wasn’t sure how I the old parts of me would mesh with this new part. I see other women with visible tattoos all the time and I adore them. Their art suits them perfectly and they’re these amazing, larger than life indie sirens to me… but until I saw the finished stencil, I wasn’t sure that I could be that kind of girl. What if I got it and it didn’t suit me? What then? My imagination was caught up in a tug of war between what I wanted and imagined worst case scenarios right up until the appointment.

While part of me wanted some kind of a litmus test so I would know that this was the right thing, I knew that all I could do was dive into the experience and see what happened. I was incredibly excited to see it, but prepared to pull the plug if I didn’t like the art… and then if I did love it I was just going to pray my shoulder didn’t feel like my back did last time around. And if it did I wouldn’t make myself be brave, I would just sit still and wait for it to be finished. So at least I had a plan!

When I pulled up to the shop, I still felt shaky (because I’m me) but I took a deep breath, got out of the car, and went in.

I met my artist, who was warm and quick to laugh, put Serenity into the DVD player… and the shop broke into a faux opera rendition of the firefly theme song. When I could stop laughing we did the first part of a flower and I knew that I would be fine. The art was beautiful, the pain felt normal, and I was clearly with my people.

On the other side of it, I didn’t need to be so concerned! I’m in love with it and the experience was fabulous. I’m actually excited to have the colour done, and for someone who’s not made of tough stuff that says a lot. And indie siren or not, I think it suits me perfectly. It’s healing beautifully and the colour will be finished at the end of June. I love how big it is, and that it’s a partial sleeve. I love that it’s old fashioned and feminine, and I love how it peeks out from my shirts and dresses. I’m enamoured.

My cherry blossoms are a reminder of the west coast, of how short our time here together is and how beautiful it is while it lasts. And it’s a reminder that no matter what is happening now, the whole world can change by spring. I feel like its always been a part of me, I’ve just been waiting to meet it.

You can see close ups here & here, and if you have any questions please leave them in the comments, I’d love to answer them.